Bathroom Conversations (First 5 Chapters)

3 || Labour Day

I beat him to the bathroom. I say him because I don't think his roommate ever leaves their room.

I lock the door gratefully behind myself and drop my towel on the counter. There's a new set of shampoos in the shower and an electric razor charging by the sink. I stare at it feeling irritated without knowing why.

I climb into the shower without looking at myself in the mirror. Just looking down reminds me, painfully.

Painfully, because I'm completely torn. I know I am unhealthy, that I couldn't even survive a bout of the common cold right now; but I don't want to be normal. I don't want my thighs to touch, for my body to jiggle when I run. Not that I can run.

I use my new passion fruit shower gel and rub it over my ribs and my stomach. Concave stomach. Protruding ribs. My legs look like sticks, the thighs just a fraction thicker than the calves. My feet look large in comparison.

"Good morning, three-oh-five." He says from the hallway. I have to catch myself on the shower wall.

"Y-you again?"

"Indeed. How are you today?"

"Oh... Awesome." I start rinsing my hair because I've started shivering and I am embarrassed by myself.

"So, what's your name?" His voice is soft, buffered by the sound of shower spray.

I don't reply. My hair is clean, and I skip the conditioner. I feel like I'm imprisoned in here, and he's keeping guard out there. My skin crawls with claustrophobia.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." He bribes and I can't help myself.

"See, the difference is, I don't want to know your name." I'd rather ignore you for the next eight months.

"Oh, ouch. That hurts."

"I'll be out in five minutes."

"Okay."

"Leave, please."

"Why?"

"Please."

I wait for the sound of his door to shut, to peek out. I skitter my own door and unlock it quickly. Down the hall, a girl walks out of her room wearing a black silk robe. She smiles at me and I duck into my room likes hermit.