Behind Her Tears

Chapter Seven

"Dave. ." I whispered. To say I was shock is an understatement. I look around. Probably, looking for intervention? I don't know.

He perhaps notices me and says, "They're inside."

I furrowed my brows. What the hell! "They left us here?!" I asked, my voice slightly raised.

He shrugged. "And you let them leave us here? What are you thinking?"

"What's wrongㅡ"

"What the hell, Dave! Just what the hell!" I said. "You're asking what's wrong? Well this," I spread my arms to emphasize my point. "This is so wrong. Very wrong."

I tried to stand and get out but he didn't let me. I glowered at him but he's giving nothing away. He was just staring at me as he hold me.

"I can't see anything wrong, Athena. My girlfriend insists for this." That made me stop. "She doesn't want to wake you up. You see, she trusts me."

Suddenly, my heart clenched. His words cut like freakin' knives. It cuts the scar and as if it became a fresh wound again. Memories of past came crushing down. I didn't even notice that I was holding my breath.

"How could she trust you?" I whisper.

"She loves me." He answered.

"How can she trust someone who left after he got what he wants? How can she trust someone who took granted of. . of me? How. . I don't understand." And right at that moment, I cry

I cry all the pain I've been keeping for years.

"I'm sorry, Athena. I'm sorry. Please, listen to me. ." He said, almost pleading.

"No, Dave. You listen to me." I say as I point out a finger at him. "I thought you're different. You. . of all people!"

"Athena, please. ."

"Just. . stop, Dave. Let's not talk about the past anymoreㅡ"

"Athena,"

"Dave, I honestly haven't moved on. Not yet. It still hurts. What I ask you right now is respect - something you fail to give me before. Now, if you're truly sorry, respect my decision. Let's not bring the past up." I said with finality.

I don't think he can ever change my mind right now. Yes, I might still love him. I could deny that fact. I can fool everybody but never myself. I know why I'm still affected, I know why it still hurts - it's because I still love him. My feelings for him isn't gone. It's still there.

I had admitted that the first we met again. But today, at this moment, what I want is to move on. I want to forget him. I want to forget how much I did love him.

Someday, I would struggle to know how I loved him. I would never know how it feels. I want that day to happen. I want to walk pass him, smiling widely without hiding any pain. I would want to look at him straight in the eye without tears in my eyes. I want to watch him happy with Chelsea without feeling any angst. I want to be a part of their life as a friend, without an aching heart.

It would only happen if I learn how to deal with pain. That pain includes seeing them together, seeing him happy with another woman. I want to be ready for someday I know they'll get married and I'm invited.

I must move on. I can only do that if I help myself deal with the pain and if he stops showing me he still cares wherein fact, I know, deep inside him he's just guilty for what he did. Well, partly I'm happy he was. At least, he knew it was wrong and that I was hurt too.

"Athena. . I'm sorry." He whispers and I could only swallow hard, trying to get rid of lump forming in my throat.

I nod at him. How can I love someone who only knows how to hurt me. .repeatedly? How to undo my feelings for him?

"How do I unlove you, Dave?" It should only be on my mind but I guess it's too intense to just keep it in mind, suddenly it slipped my tongue.

"No." He says. I was confuse and was about to ask him but I shake my head.

"I don't wanna know."

"Athenaㅡ"

"I'm not interested." I said.

"Please, hear me out first." He pleads. I smile at him as a response. I smile. I could only smile.

Slowly, I turn my back on him. Whatever we had in the past will remain in the past. I don't think we need the closure at this moment. I just can't hear his side now. It's too complicated.

THE workshop went well. We are now on the studio where the photoshoot will be held.

"Stephen!" I called out.

"Hey," he greets as he puts the strands of my hair behind my ear. "I've been missing you." He says.

I was about to say something when I heard Chelsea. "Dave, honey!" I swallowed hard upon looking at him. His glaring at Stephen!

"Honey?" Chelsea inquire, trying to get Dave's attention.

"Hm?" I heard him say.

"You look upset." Chelsea said.

"I am?"

"Yeah, what happened? Are you bored or something? Are you hungry?" I could feel Chelsea's concern on her voice.

He deserves her.

"No, I'm fine. Aren't we done here yet?" Dave asked.

"Oh! You must be really bored. I'm sorry." I bit my lower lip. She's just too good to be true. Her voice was laced with pain.

"Athena, are you okay?" I almost forgot Stephen was with me. I was damn real preoccupied. I was busy listening, or rather eavesdropping.

So bad, Athena. I scold myself.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I-I think I'm hungry." Stephen's jaw drop.

"My bad." He murmured. "I am so insensitive. How can't I think that?"

Oh, Stephen. Why can't it be just you? I silently prayed.

I laugh humorously. "C'mon! Don't blame yourself for my carelessness." I said.

Stephen just smiled.

"Let's eat?" He asks.

"I doubt that." I replied, shaking my head. He frowns. I smile at him and point at his back using my lips.

"GET YOUR ASS IN HERE, BABY BOY! OR YOU'LL NEVER GET HOME 'CAUSE I'M GOING TO TIE YOU ON MY BED!" Jerry, the one who's in charge in the photoshoot, shouted at Stephen.

I saw how Stephen's eyes widen. Yeah, he doesn't know Jerry's a gay. Knowing Stephen, he's got a trauma with gays.

"W-what?" Stephen mumbles. I saw how his face turned pale! I laugh out loud. Gosh, I can't help it! His reaction was priceless!

"Don't worry, he's harmless." I said and then face to Jerry, "Right? He's harmless. No worries, Stephen."

"Of course!" Jerry flirtatiously answer as he rolls his eyes ceilingward.