Ms. Calloway (Book 2 in the For Better Or Worse Trilogy)

Chapter 18

"You're alive!" A friendly voice squeals behind me. I spin around to find the only person that can make this night bearable. A voice that belongs to my best friend. Like an elastic band that has been pulled back for far too long, we snap and collide together in a tight hug. Seattle wasn't home. Nevertheless, Skylar reminds me of the person I was when I came here. She embodies comfort and kindness. Both of the things I've been searching for these past few weeks. A part of me wondered if I had been wandering aimlessly through the desert and she was some kind of mirage. I squeeze her to prove to myself that this is real. She is real.

When we broke our hug, happy tears were running down my cheeks. The weight on my chest felt somehow lighter. Like she could hold the boulder, at least for a little bit, while I roll my shoulders and prepare for a second round.

Skyler is quicker than I to form words. "Where have you been?! I thought you were dead!" She didn't. Not really. If only she knew how close she was to the truth. How, time after time, I've been an inch from death for weeks.

"I'm so sorry for worrying you. There was a family emergency and I had to go back home. Everything happened so fast that I didn't have time to reach out to anyone and fill them in."

"But, why didn't you just message me when you got there?"

"We were all so frantic. My grandmother was ill. She's basically the monarch of our family. It slipped my mind. And then every time I would remember, my father would become upset by my screen time. It's one of those unspoken rules. When you're with family, no screen time. I know how silly it seems. Very old school. I think it's just a southern thing. A long list of manners and all." The concerned look on her face tells me that i'm over explaining. Upstairs I developed this long elaborate lie. If I hadn't know the truth, I'd believe me. However, now that i'm actually saying it aloud, it sounds more like a child that is covered in chocolate and crumbs, denying they touched the cookies.

She nods like she believes me, but her eyes hold suspicion. "Is your grandma okay?"

"She passed away." I lower my eyes to her shoes, biting the inside of my cheek to keep myself from speaking the truth. Bitter and acidic. That is what a lie tasted like. My whole childhood I was discouraged from ever speaking a lie. When I was young, the story was that a thin old woman with translucent skin and scissors for hands would come into my room and cut my tongue off if I dared to deceit anyone, especially my family. Then, as I grew up the story developed to something much stronger that scared me more than that old woman ever could. God. My father convinced me that he would strike me dead if I told a lie. Though, perhaps because there's a hint of truth in my lie, punishment will not be nearly as cruel. My grandmother did die, years ago. Wasn't a truth within a lie better than a lie without any truth? With my head lowered, I wonder if i'm waiting for that strike. It should be any second now. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.

Sighing with relief, I look back up at Skylar. She's observing me, trying to decide whether I'm telling the truth or lying and if it's important enough to call me out about it. An insect under a magnifying glass, the sun beating on me with the type of heat that can cook me. That is what it feels like when she watches me.

Finally, after several seconds and shifting uncomfortably, she accepts the truth I gave her and draws me back into a tighter hug than before. "I'm sorry. It doesn't mean much, I know. But I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Better by the day." I say, pulling away. "We were really close. When I was a kid I would trail behind her. A mini grandma." The memory of my grandma actually makes me giggle.

"My grandma passed away a couple years ago. We weren't as close as you and yours, but it still stung. I can only imagine how you feel."

The only response I can give without seeming too guilty is a small nod. She holds my hand tenderly, both of us waiting for the other to speak. "So, how's Noah?" A boy is a great direction to turn for light hearted conversation.

Sighing, she takes a flute of champagne off a passing tray. "Don't even get me started." She shook her head, tilting the glass back to take a big drink.

A smile tugs at my lips when the door of normal conversations opens. The passing man offers me a drink, but I wave him off. A clear mind will get me through the night. "Oh, no. What happened? Last I checked you guys were ready to run to the altar together."

"Sometimes I wonder if he understands me. Like if he truly sees me. Sometimes I think he does by the look in his eyes or his touch, but then he says or does something that makes me question everything."

"Like?"

"Like I try to explain the reason it's hard to let my walls down. My family can be very judgmental about who I'm spending my time with. And he's not exactly a man working at a respectable job or a man who devotes his entire life to god. He's basically everything my family hates in one person. I explain it in the softest way possible, but he's convinced that he can change their mind. He says he wants all of me. But..." Skylar sighs heavily. "I don't think I can. He loves me. I think I love him back. I'm afraid he loves this version of me. A version he produced in that cute little head of his. How long will it take before he realizes that I'm not that person? That i'll never be able to give him this perfect life with both families accepting and loving us. Where nothing bad ever happens. And world peace. That's not real. Especially for someone like me. A black girl in this world will never be easy. Can he deal with that?"

This comes out of left field for me. For so long I've been so lost in my problems that I never thought about what Skylar was going through. I thought there was nothing worse than what I had been through. How could I be so selfish? "Do you want him to be able to deal with that? Or do you want to push him away so he doesn't get the chance?" Skylar immediately falls silent. "I'm just saying that when someone goes through a hardship they want the right person to be by their side. Is he the right person that you want to fight till the end with? Noah loves you. Anyone can see that. But maybe he doesn't see the big picture. I mean, does anyone actually know anyone? Like truly know them from the inside out. No one can say they know your experiences because those experiences are yours. Family is hard to please. Trust me I know. I'm slowly learning that you can't base your life on pleasing your family. Well, i'm working on that.." I shake my head as not to get distracted. "Skylar there are always gonna be bumps in the road. Him not understanding you completely. Your family not accepting him. Religion. Love. At the end of the day it's all up to you." My hand finds hers. "Think of your own happiness, Don't make a rash decision. Think about it. You don't want to regret your choice."

All of a sudden, Skylar breaks into a big smile that changes her face to a bright sunny day."I've missed you so much. Can I stuff you in my pocket and make you my personal guru?"

"Don't have to ask me twice." We laugh until we're abruptly interrupted by the only man who can make it seem polite and romantic.

"Ms. Jamille, pleasure to see you. I'd hoped you would accept my invitation. Are you pleased with the outcome?"

Skylar looks between Roman and I. Maybe she sees something I don't or maybe she's a little surprised by the ease that seems to dance between us. "I am. It's beautiful. An event held by Roman Berkshire could never be unsatisfactory."

A smile hinted at the corner of his lips. "Can I borrow Ms. Calloway here? A dance or two will be like the cherry on top." Roman looks to me. I look at Skylar. Skylar looks at Roman.

Finally, she answers. "Go right ahead. I used up all my guru time anyways." She looks to me for my approval which I meet with a smile. She walks off, leaving the two of us to our own devices.

Grinning devilishly, he holds his hand out to me. "Now about that dance?"

I'm so sorry about my sudden disappearance. I became really sick with bronchitis which made it hard to work. But here I am. I hope I brought you guys a good chapter to make up for my absence. 

What do you think of Skylar and Sawyer's friendship?

Like and comment!

Open to criticism and advise (kindly)

Share!