Ms. Calloway (Book 2 in the For Better Or Worse Trilogy)

Chapter 28

Tulips of red and white tickle my legs like little hands begging me to stay. Whether it was his targeted words or a weight unknown to me, this balloon popped and all the air rushed out. A cold relationship with my family should be the last of my concerns, especially since my most recent concerns are between life and death. Still, there it was in the back of my mind.

I don't get far before Roman is grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him. "I didn't mean it. I'm an ass." A small glimpse of pleading falls before his eyes. "Please don't go."

Because I don't know if my anger comes from Roman's words or my own buried feelings being brought to light, all I do is sigh. "I shouldn't have said anything. It was a stupid question. All of this is stupid. This whole night. This whole day. We're too different. We always will be. My hard times are far different than your hard times. We shouldn't have tried to fool ourselves into thinking...I shouldn't have fooled myself into thinking...I don't know." A flood of embarrassment hits me like a tidal wave.

"No. Please don't say that." He still holds my hand, seemingly not planning to let go any time soon. "This has been one of the best days of my life. I can't remember the last time I had a real conversation with someone, without involving my work. You've made me laugh. Today is the first day in a long time where I felt like I was more than Roman Berkshire, the son of William Berkshire. I was just Roman. Your Roman."

The idea that Roman Berkshire belonged to me was almost laughable. No one could simply have him. But, by the look in his eyes, he truly believed that he was mind. Like his very happiness depended on if I accepted him or not. "Don't say something you don't mean."

"I never do. When I'm with you it feels like the entire world, including responsibilities, fade away. I don't have to be anyone, but me. The me before all the shit that's been forced upon me. I can just be a man with a woman. The kind of man and woman who can vacation in Italy. Who can sit in a gondola, talking and laughing like we're the only people in the world. Do you understand how important that is to me?" He takes my other hand, drawing me in closer. "There has never been even the most fickle moment of my life where I've sat and felt like an ordinary man. A moment in which I sat with a woman and thought of a future without guns, art, and the weight of my family. You make me believe there's something more out there. You make me wish I was a better man. A good enough man that could deserve someone like you. Not even like you. But you. A man that you can be proud to shout from the rooftops you love."

"Love?" I whisper.

He makes a noticeable gulp. A hesitance falls over him, but it doesn't take him long to gather himself. "Love." He confirms. "I know I haven't always made it obvious, but this is me making it clear. I love you, Sawyer Calloway. Everyday since the first day I met you, I've been falling deeper and deeper in love with you. There's never been hesitation on this ride. I have never wondered if I'm making a huge mistake by falling in love with you. There hasn't been the briefest of seconds to make me question the person you are. You are thee Sawyer Calloway. The blonde beauty from Maywood, Georgia with the most endearing southern accent. A pair of hopeful sea glass green eyes, exploring the world as if you're seeing it for the first time. Soft bow shaped lips with a hint of a smile at all times. A heart bigger than all of Seattle. After being surrounded by selfish people everyday for the last 27 years of my life, I've finally come across a woman who would give her last dollar to someone in need. The bravest woman I know. Anyone in your situation would be catatonic, but you find a way to keep going. A woman that is beloved by anyone that is lucky enough to cross her path. You are an anomaly. You must know that." He searches my eyes, looking for any reason he should stop, but he must not find anything because he continues. "I love you, Sawyer. Every quirk. Every snort laugh. Every inch of you. I love you. And there's nothing you can do to change that. I know you don't feel the same. And I am fine with that. I can live with that. I'll be the wind beneath your wings. I will always catch you when you fall. I'll be your protector from now to the end of time. I will be the sun to your leaves. Your number 1 fan. I will be anyone or anything you need as long as you know I love you." A heavy breath deflates him.

There he is. Where did this Roman Berkshire come from? This isn't a version of him that I've come across before. However, this might be my favorite version. He's left himself bare. No secrets. All emotions.

And I don't know what to think.

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