Hopeless Romantic (Alastor x Reader)

2: If I Tell You My Name

"It's nice to meet you too Spooderman-"

Is what you said before you started vomiting again.

The man was nice enough to help you clean up and even made you a nice drink to help with your hangover. You were less afraid of him than you were earlier, but still not completely at ease with his presence as you immediately started bombarding him with questions the second you stepped out of the shower- or bathroom. Whatever.

"First things first, who are you?"

"Forgot already? I'm Alastor, sweetheart."

"Okay great. I'm (Y/n). Now that we're aquanted with each other, care to explain to me what the hell you're doing in my house?"

"My, my, is that any way to address your new 'boyfriend', as you put it?"

"Pfft!" you erupted into a fit of giggles at his ridiculous joke and wiped an imaginary tear from your eye, "Nice one buddy. Ain't no way I scored a hot demon fucker like you in one night."

He hummed in amusement, smirking deviously at your unreserved compliment. "It's true. You and your friends spoke to me through a strange board and next thing I know, you're striking up a deal with me to solve your tragic love life."

Your face flushed at his jab and you had to hold back from hitting him in the arm. "Wait so you are a demon? Huh. Well clearly you're not a very cool one if we were able to summon you with a child's board game. The damn thing is rated eight and up for God's sake!"

"Watch your mouth fawn. I can still very much obliterate you if I so desired."

Kinky-

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I just-" Suddenly the sound of your phone buzzing cut you off. You went to check it and saw that it was your scumbag ex coming to pick up something he left behind. You know, the one who spat all that dramatic bullshit to you before?

"Ugh goddamn it..." you groaned, catching the demon's attention, "My stupid ex-boyfriend is coming over."

"Oh? Do I need to rip the man's head off for you?"

"As much as I would 'love' that, stuff like that isn't well received here on Earth," you replied in a joking manner, "Besides he's just coming to pick up his stuff." And maybe try to get in my pants. you finished in your head.

"Hm, well don't you worry darling. As your loving partner, I shall ensure that you won't have to suffer one moment with that tedious flesh bag."

The doorbell rang and you got up from your bed, saying, "Thanks 'Al' but I can handle him myself."

The dipshit continuously rang the bell until you had to yell at him through the wall to stop. Opening the door you were instantly engulfed into a sickeningly tight hug by the man himself. You had to manually deter yourself from gagging as his touch trailed a little too low on your backside.

"Hi (Ex/n)," you said flatly.

"Oh, (Y/n) I am so glad to see you," the sicko put his grubby hands on your shoulders, "Look I've been thinking and I think I've made a mistake. I think we should get back together."

Oh for God's sake.

"Your timing couldn't be worse..." you mumbled, "Why? 'Cause you haven't had sex with me yet?"

He smirked, "So there's a yet?"

You rolled your eyes. "Nah, I'm good but I hear hell is great this time of year. Maybe you should give it a visit?"

You tried to slam the door in his face but his foot blocked it from closing. "Please (Y/n)! I'll give you anything! Love, drugs, sex-"

"Protection?"

"Yes even protection!" he exclaimed, though not quite understanding why you said that of all things, "I'll protect you from anything, even the most feared beast known to man-"

You huffed out a laugh when his eyes widened upon seeing the seven-foot tall deer demon come out of hiding, resting an arm atop your head in a casual (but mildly threatening) manner. With his radio-filtered voice, he asked, "Is this man bothering you, my love?"

An involuntary blush crept onto your face at the nickname, something that did not go unnoticed by (Ex/n).

"I don't know," you started, a thumb and index finger to your chin as you leaned menacingly towards the human male at your door, "Is he?"

(Ex/n) didn't even respond. He immediately booked it out of your dirt driveway, his tail tucked between his legs.

"Good riddance," you mumbled, keeping the front door open and inhaling the crisp, woodland breeze. Then you scoffed.

"I forgot I had school today."

"Oh? You're a scholar then?"

"'Scholar' might be too fancy a word for me. I'm just a girl trying to make it through college so I can get a better job is all," About to close the door, you spotted a family of deer in front of your house. Observing them for a moment, you left the screen door open and trudged back to your room, pulling out your waitress uniform from your closet. "If I'm not gonna go to school today the least I can do is try and make a few extra bucks by taking my sick co-worker's place at the diner. Anyway, either get out or pay up. I ain't putting on a show for free."

After your rant Alastor spun on his heel and left the room, the faintest blush coating his gray face. More out of embarrassment than anything.

You were an... intriguing belle indeed.