Hawthorne and his friends are happy to be part of the Wundrous Society. This year seems to be uneventful at the moment so they can finally relax. And there's more Francis has a girlfriend. Hawthorne doesn't know what to do or think. He has had a cru...
TW!! Mentions of suicide and depression, mention self-harming Hawthorne POV As I lay staring at my ceiling, not being able to fall asleep, my thoughts turned to Francis, like they always do. I turned on my side as I curled myself into a ball, face buried into the pillow and hands clutching the blankets. It's been another month since I've been off of school and my parents got a call from the Wundrous Society, stating that if Hawthorne Swift didn't show up to school in the next month his spot was to be given to another hopeful candidate.
It's already been 5 days since they got that call and Hawthorne decided he didn't want to go back. He didn't want to deal with all the stress of school and all of the pitying faces and glances of his friends and classmates.
He certainly didn't want to deal with seeing Francis after their fight. Hawthorne deleted his number and would not mention their fight or him out loud.
Hawthorne was still hopelessly in love with Francis, even after Francis made it crystal clear that he wants nothing to do with Hawthorne or anything he's involved with.
There was a knock on his door and he ignored it, as he did with everyone who knocked.
A few minutes and impatient knocking later the door burst open and an angry-looking Morrigan Crow stormed into his room, walked over to his bed and flung his blankets off of him.
Hawthorne whined softly as the blanket was ripped off of him. He glared at his best friend and grabbed his blanket and pulled it back over his head as he relished in the warmth and darkness of the blanket.
Not even a second later the blanket yanked back off him. The dragon rider sighed and sat up, scooting back until he was leaning on the headboard of his bed. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees. He stared at his blankets which were bunched up around his feet when he heard Morrigan clear her throat. He felt his bed dip slightly as Morrigan slid her way to lean against the headboard and wrap an arm around her best friend's shoulder. Hawthorne leaned his head on her shoulder and Morrigan placed her head on top of his.
"What happened Hawthorne? You've been huddled up here for months, you don't answer any of my texts and won't even talk to your parents. I'm worried about you. We all are. Hotel Deucalion is your home too, so please come and visit sometime, Jupiter is even going to let Frank host a party for you. And you know how much Jupiter doesn't like Frank hosting parties cause of how long they can go and how many people he invites, most of the time. So can you fill me in on what happened or what is happening?" Morrigan reached over and grabbed Hawthorne's hand and squeezed it. Hawthorne clutched her hand as his body shook and his throat ached with tears trying to force their way up.
Even with him forcing the tears down, they ended up bubbling over and spilling down his cheeks and onto the blankets. Morrigan frowned slightly as she has only once seen her best friend lose his composure as he was doing right now. She wrapped both her arms around Hawthorne tightly as he shook and sobbed in her arms. Hawthorne closed his eyes tightly as he tried to gain his composure back but failed miserably. He soon gave up and let all the tears he's been holding back fall freely down his face.
They stayed in that position for a couple of hours until Hawthorne had cried his eyes dry. He sniffled a few times before leaning back out of the embrace. Morrigan blinked a couple of times confused. Hawthorne stood up and told her that he was going into the bathroom to wash his face and Morrigan nodded. A couple minutes later, Hawthorne walked out of the bathroom and sat in front of Morrigan with one leg under him and one leg hanging off the bed.
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They sat in silence, Hawthorne picking at his jumper and Morrigan looking around his room.
Hawthorne looked up when he heard a sigh and tilted his head, confused. Morrigan offered him a small smile to which he tried to return but couldn't.
"Hawthorne, please talk to me. I wanna help you but I can't if you don't speak to me. Everyone is worried about you. Our unit is worried for you. They keep wondering why you aren't coming to school, and they don't to replace you either. So please talk to me." Morrigan had taken his hands in hers and stared in his eyes, reassuring him that he can talk to her.
Hawthorne's eyes searched his best friend's, searching for any sort of lie but couldn't find any. So he sighed and nodded.
"Ok well it all started when the fire started" *FlashBack*
*"You!" He seethed as he glared at me, his eyes burning brighter then the fire that just got put out.
I stumbled back as if he just hit me, the pure hatred in his eyes felt like stabs to the heart as he started towards me. I looked around but no one was near, it was just us two.
"F-Francis! What are you doing!? What's wrong!? What did I do!?" I echoed the thoughts that swirled around my head. He either did hear me, or if he did he's not responding. "Fran-"
A loud crack echoed through the trees, sending flocks of birds screeching into the air as my head snapped to side. I stared at the ground as drips of blood landed on the concrete. I slowly lifted my head up and saw Francis seething at me.
If we were in a cartoon you'd be able to see trails of steam puffing out of his ears and out his nose, and if looks could kill I'd be dead over and over again by the look he was giving me.
I don't know how to explain it, I couldn't look into his eyes long enough to decipher the emotions swirling around. But there was an emotion that stood out the most, it was loathing, and it was directed at me, for something I don't know I did.
He opened his mouth and said something that broke me. "I fucking hate you Hawthorne, I hate you so FUCKING MUCH!" His dangerously calm voice broke into a shout, ignoring what he said next, I turned on my heal and ran, tears flowing down my cheeks as I ran to the train station and boarded the next one home. My heart broke and that look in his eyes is always going to haunt my nightmares.
I lay in my bed again. I knew my parents would be talking about it but I didn't care anymore. I stopped caring when Francis did.
I sneered at myself in self-loathing as I thought about it. But the sheer dropped as soon as it appeared as I didn't have the energy for any other expression other than a neutral face.
I sighed as I snuggled down deeper into my blankets and buried my head underneath my pillow. It took weeks for my family to get me out of my room again but now? I don't think I'd ever leave other then to pee and shower.
May be depressed but I will not let myself go disgusting by not having good hygiene.
My eyes closed and I drifted off into a dreamless sleep, the first in a while.
