Can Anybody Hear Me? (working title)

Hollow Sayings

No need to fret
For God closes a door, he opens a window.

(But what about a windowless room
With locked doors and endless doom?)

You can do anything through Christ who strengthens you.

(Where is the strength when countless doubts
Hammers me down to the ground?)

God won't give you more than you can bear.

(Do you care to see my happiness blundered
Into an increase stack of panic attacks?)

Do not fret,
God works in many wonders.

(Minutes ticked. Days passed. Must I ask
How I see these invisible gifts?)

Don't worry, God can handle it.

(Without a doubt I do confess,
But have you considered about I?)

Just pray.

(I have prayed without end of countless doubts,
Just tell me what to do!)

Who is this "Me" who whispers in the dark?

I am the searcher for answers
In place of a hollow response.
When someone tells me to pray,
I say how am I not
When in the moment of deepesh anguish
I pray.
I am the one that prays.
The one who cannot stand a vague response
When the person has no answer.
I am the one who self gave the title "jerk"
Who misunderstands a simple saying.
When someone says "believe in God"
I question if I do.
I am the one fighting to continue believing
No matter the thoughts or emotions that plague me,
No matter what others say,
Yet I feel overwhelmed.
"God won't give you more than you can-"
Yet I feel overwhelmed.
So I pray on my knees for support
And it is given in pills called time and courage.
It. Is. Given.
In this darkening despair you say I am trapped in
I found the answers I was not taught
Through the gestures or eyes,
Through people's stories or parting words,
Or my experiences I have learned
To give my title a break
And forgive.
I am the one that learned not only to forgive others
But to forgive myself and accept forgiveness,
That God can handle my burden, not just me,
That in every one of us resides a spiritual warrior
Cracking up the path to what we are destined to be and do.
I am a spiritual warrior
Through teaching what has not been told
And leading others to their warriors in Christ.
Amen.