The Cursed Blessing (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

- 아홉 -

A/N: this chapter contains non-graphic character death. If this triggers any readers, please consider not reading the ending. 

Jongin ends up interpreting "taking it slow" rather...literally. After he texted him the night he got home from their date, Kyungsoo didn't see Jongin or even hear from him for several days. In some ways, he doesn't mind; it certainly gives him more time to think about if he should even be pursuing anything with him at all. But when he finds himself growing increasingly upset, he already knows he's doomed. 

Eventually, when it all starts feeling like a game of who will crack under the pressure first, Kyungsoo steps up and makes the first move. They clear up the issue rather quickly after that, which just boiled down to both men being too trapped inside their own heads and afraid to say what they were feeling. The handful of casual dates they go on afterward, though awkward at first, end up helping them both make positive progress. Not so much that Kyungsoo feels comfortable revealing more about his past but enough that he's not so afraid to text him first anymore. 

He keeps taking detailed notes of their interactions, the similarities and differences in Jongin's personality, but especially of the dreams. They still come up in chronological order, but he also notices that they're shorter in length and almost never bad in nature. They're mostly of their happy moments, the ones where they were laughing and telling each other about their hopes and dreams. So, when he flips to the earlier pages of his journal and notices nothing but sadness and quickly impending doom in comparison, he can't help but think that it might actually be different this time. If it was going to be the same, he's sure the dreams would have given him some kind of sign by now. 

Part of him doesn't want to believe it, though. He's so used to either preparing for the day he'll lose him or trying to avoid it altogether that it feels weird to be this hopeful. His instinctual reaction is to find the error in his logic, to dig for the one piece of information that alludes to the bad possibilities so he can focus on that instead. But when he becomes all too aware of this instinct, he realizes how tired he's become over the years. It's been so exhausting to fight against his heart in the name of sparing it that he actually almost breaks down in tears. 

So, after that long and emotionally complicated night, Kyungsoo decides to really try and believe in a silver lining. It takes several self-pep talks and a lot more talking to his reflection in the mirror than he ever thought he'd do in his life, but in time, he starts to notice that the sun is a little brighter than he once thought. 

Jongin picks up on the change pretty quickly for being dense about most other things. He discovers Kyungsoo's chatty, extroverted side and how competitive he is even with trivial things like card games. As much as his mature, quiet side drew him in, this one makes him fall for him even harder. He can't really explain why, but it makes him feel special. Just the fact that the elder feels comfortable enough around him to be a little more carefree and naturally expressive tugs at Jongin's heartstrings. He hopes he'll always be able to make him feel like that. 

There's a reality show playing on the television, but it's serving more as background noise at this point. Jongin's more focused on the texts he and Kyungsoo are sending back and forth. The elder is supposed to be at a teaching conference this weekend, but from what he's been saying so far, it's just about as boring as he expected it to be. Jongin lets out a loud giggle when he receives an animated emoji of a cute cartoon character falling asleep, letting the sound linger for a bit before starting to type out a reply.

"Have I been transported back to high school?" Chanyeol asks suddenly, nearly making Jongin fall off the couch when he realizes he's standing right behind the same couch he's lying on. He's looking at him with pure judgment in his eyes, to which Jongin just scowls and narrows his eyes. "I didn't think texting back and forth like that was a real thing that people did."