PROLOGUE:
"Alex," yelled Morris, "You don't have to worry about getting me that Big Mac anymore!" Oh Gosh, I thought, now is not the time to joke around or make me laugh. I will fall if I laugh! Any other sluggish, normal day would have been fine, but alas, my luck has run out. "Yeah, I wasn't going to buy it for you anyway. Do you think I have enough money to settle all of my debts, to all of my friends? I barely have enough money to pay for a cab ride.' I said, my fingers slipping as I started sweating from the exertion of holding myself up and trying to think of a solution.
The black, rusting pipes we were, oh so decoratively hanging from, groaned under our combined weight. The decrepit building stood with the grace of a well-aged woman.
I heard a small, girlish shriek that tore me from my thoughts. I looked around at my friends, knowing not one of them would make that puny sound unless they were absolutely terrified. My fellow feminists, so strong we were in the belief of womanly strength, had never once uttered such a sound, so I knew they wouldn't break that certain silence now.
"I know it wasn't Taylor, Lili, or me who made that sound, so who was it?" I asked, my voice dripping with light disdain, hoping to lightly tease everyone into believing the situation wasn't as bad as it was.
Morris looked embarrassed, so I risked a guess and stared him down.
"Morris, was that you?" I asked him, hoping no one would hear us, even if we were all so tightly pressed together, I could feel everyone's sweat mingling with my own.
"Yes." He said. At least he had the guts to admit it.
I slipped even farther down the pipes, my loose clothing and heavy adornments adding more weight than absolutely necessary.
"Hey guys, I forgot to TiVo my soaps." Taylor yelled, rather dramatically, as if we were not about to die.
"So that's your reason for not falling to your death?" I asked, incredulously amused. I knew if I laughed, it would be my downfall. Literally.
"Wow, solid reasoning." Yelled Taylor's male brother counterpart. "And here I wasn't going to die for selfish reasons, like saving the world." John yelled.
"Lili, I have something to say." Hunter said, quiet as a whisper. Everyone knew the two were awkwardly, and ultimately subconsciously, smitten.
"Yeah?" Lili asked, trying to sound off-handed. But the little tutu loving romantic inside of her was hoping for a little "We-are-about-to-die-so-hurry-up-and-confess-you're-undying-love-for-me,"action.
"Okay, well, first off, my pants are falling down and I am not wearing any underwear, so if y'all don't want to be scarred for life, I would suggest turning away. Second, it was I who broke your IPod. Third, I forgot to feed your hamster, Mr. Wubble-Dubble."
By this point, Lilli's face had retreated back into its mask of emotional unavailability.
"And, finally, I love you." He said, finishing his rather amusing, and rambling, monologue. "I wanted to tell you in a really romantic, sweep-you-off-of-your-feet way. But seeing as we are both a little pressed for time, as our sure death approaches, there is no time like the present." Hunter yelled, his voice trembling impressively.
"You choose now to try and be romantic?!" Lili screeched. "You have had all of the time in the world to tell me this, and you choose now to unveil your feelings?" Lili asked, hardly believing his sense of inadequate timing.
"So do you, uh, do you like me too? His voice slowly rose in pitch and volume with stress, as anxiety about her answer and adrenaline about our situation coursed through him.
