The Best Thing I Ever Did

Please, look back.

M i n a

I don't know how long it took for me to fall asleep but I know for sure that I have the worst headache I've experienced.

I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on my door. I turn around and stand up, not even bothering what I look. When I opened the door a very lovely Jihyo welcomed me but her expression turned into a worried look as soon as she saw my feature.

"Hey, what happened to you?" she asks while guiding me back to my bed. She fixes my hair and examines my face. "Did you cry?"

I had to lie.

"No, I just lack sleep."

It convinces her as Jihyo nods her head understanding me.

"Are you sure? We brought you take-home food, what time did you arrive? You didn't even eat?"

"I don't even know I just know for now is to rest I want to sleep."

Jihyo caressed my hair, and I had to prevent myself from crying again.

"Are you tired?"

I nod, I lie again.

Needless to say, I became just like a zombie. The girls stopped asking me, where is my manager and why I was prohibited from using my phone and going out with no one around me I just told them that the company got a little strict with me. But it was a different story when Jihyo asked me what happened between me and Lisa. It happened that Lisa told Jihyo that she lost contact with me.

"Tell her we are busy." It was half true so without further asking Jihyo followed me.

And just like that, another week has passed.

I almost lost my will to continue, I felt that I lost everything. For the past week, I just did what they told me to do and what they wanted me to do. No complaints no asking.

After many days Jihyo also stopped asking me what happened to me and why I suddenly changed. I got tired, I got tired already.

"People change Jih."

I avoided them, I avoided their question, their curious eyes. They constantly want me to open up. Everything I do I feel like someone is watching me. Eyes, that never leave me alone.

I'm not allowed to go outside. To use anything that can make me communicate with Lisa. I don't want to ask any of my members, it will create another question for them. I don't want them to suffer for what I did.

The only time I can go outside is for practice, photoshoots, interviews, and mv shooting. Sometimes group dinner, but of course with our manager. I'm also worried about my manager who gets dragged for my carelessness.

I sigh looking far ahead of me. The set was loud as we were shooting another set of group dances for our comeback. But my mind drifted far away, far away from where Lisa was.

I miss her.

I miss her so much.

"President wants to talk to you."

One of the staff whispered to me while Im fixing my things as we were done for today's schedule.

I sigh.

What now?

I lazily drag my feet and nod. I just lower my head when my members look at me with a curious eye following me.

"Where are you going?" Nayeon unnie asks.

"I'll go ahead, I have an urgent thing to do." Just like that, I disappear from their view.