Pretty is as Pretty does: The Reality of Beauty Standards

Chapter 6

To gain confidence, we must find the correct meaning.

What is confidence?
Confidence means having a positive self-image and a healthy sense of self-worth. In practice, this can mean feeling at ease in social situations, being unafraid of public speaking, or having positive thoughts about a person's life and personality. Being confident means knowing and embracing who you are and being comfortable with your strengths and weaknesses.

Why become more confident?
It's crucial to remember that developing more self-assurance is a process and to give yourself some grace while you do so. Use these eight pieces of advice to boost your self-assurance:

1. Show yourself some love. Try your best to accept yourself at the moment as you are. Everyone could improve on a few aspects of themselves, but being comfortable with yourself makes it simpler. At that moment, self-improvement resembles supporting a friend more than criticizing an adversary. For instance, if you struggle with body image, put self-acceptance before starting a new diet. Starting from where you are rather than where you want to go can help you develop your confidence faster.

2. Push yourself to your limits. You'll have more chances to grow your self-confidence when you push yourself beyond your comfort zone. Take small steps to the best of your ability if you lack self-confidence because the last thing you might want to do is place yourself in an awkward scenario. Once you start to expand, it's normal to feel self-conscious, and you can feel a little uncomfortable as you try new activities you used to be afraid of. You'll grow a little more confident that you can handle all life will throw at you as you tackle your anxieties one at a time.

3. Create a list of your strengths. Make a list of instances when you felt good about yourself or attributes of your personality when you sit down. If you struggle with low self-esteem, you could believe there is nothing positive to say about yourself, but perhaps everything has a first time. As you progress, you will understand that you love yourself more than you realise.

5. Know that you are not alone. Although feeling insecure can make you feel lonely, the truth is that many people, including many you wouldn't expect, battle with confidence issues. Ask your friends or relatives if they have ever experienced self-consciousness or unease. Their well-being may improve by you as well. You might be able to provide some helpful self-care advice to someone else who is just beginning this path as you gain self-confidence.

6. Make objectives for yourself. By selecting daily or weekly projects to push yourself and boost your confidence in particular areas, you may fight self-doubt in little doses. Perhaps you could concentrate on talking to strangers one week and asserting yourself in front of people you know the following week. Making these objectives seem approachable and realistic is crucial. Set bigger goals as you succeed at each one, and as you do, you'll see that you're building confidence step by step.

7. Take each day as it comes. Avoid criticizing yourself for having terrible days since even the most confident and prosperous people experience self-critical thoughts and self-doubt. It's acceptable to sometimes feel defeated or unable to handle life's challenges.

8. Constructive Self-talk. Be aware of negative thoughts when you catch yourself starting to have them. Why would they be arising in the first place? As soon as it feels possible, steer them towards constructive self-talk. Reading positive psychology books or listening to personal development podcasts might help you supplement this practice. Negative self-talk needs to be buried with positive affirmations to overcome poor self-confidence.