“I don’t care about the little ones! I am the father and I run this house and I will do what I want when I want!” He yelled giving me one last slap before shoving me away as we walked off to another room in the house.
I looked up and saw the little ones retreating back into their rooms I slowly walked back up to my room and locking the door, I lay down on my bed and just cried staining my sheets with hot tears. I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote I wasn’t sure what I was writing until I was done, I realized that I wrote a goodbye letter to everyone I never realized how upset I am until I let it out. I quickly ripped up the note and threw it in the trash. My phone vibrated on my desk and once again it was my mother frustrated I grabbed my phone and threw it against the wall smashing it into pieces.
I opened my window and stuck my head out enjoying the morning breeze it was early May and it was nice not too hot and not too cold which is a rare occasion since Los Angeles is pretty hot all year long. I looked down at the ground below it was a pretty long distance I could easily jump out the window and fall to my death. I really need to stop thinking like this I don’t know what’s getting into me lately I guess my mummy leaving me was bothering me more than I thought it would.
I desperately wanted to go back outside I really hated being in my house but I was worried my father would have another fit so I lied down on my bed and plugged in, I calmed down as the sound of Pierce the Veil flooded through the speakers and filled up the room. I just lied there emotionless, numb almost like a dead feeling until “Hold on till May” came on I started breathing heavily as my heart rate increased and tears clouded my vision as one slipped down my cheek. By the end of the song I was in a full blown panic attack, at that moment I started thinking about Shayley and how I wished he was here right now although missing Shayley the thought of him calmed me down. It was funny how I just met him and he already has a big impact on my life.
A sudden knock on my door startled me I quickly wiped away my tears and paused my music trying to regain my composure.
“Come in” I yelled my voice sounding hoarse and scratchy. The door opened up revealing my Grandma and Grandpa from my mum’s side of the family, great I thought in my head they hated me just as much as I hated them.
“Oh Lorraine dear your father called us and told us what happened I’m so sorry” My Grandma said coming over to me and embraced me in a hug as my Grandpa sat down on my bed next to me.
“Thanks Grandma it’s been har-“ I tried saying but my Grandma cut me off
“But maybe if you were brought up better she wouldn’t of left in the first place I knew her having you at such a young age was not a good idea” My Grandma said with no remorse in her voice.
“We tried to convince her but she was so dead set on raising you” My Grandpa said joining in on the roast of Lorraine.
“Get out” I mumbled to myself.
“What!?” My Grandparents said in unison.
“Get out now!” I yelled fuming; my Grandparents left my room appalled by rude behavior.
I slammed my door shut putting on my shoes and grabbing a bag and putting school supplies and some clothes in it. As I was finishing getting ready I overheard my dad and grandparents talking in the hall.
“I swear James that child should never have been brought into this world she’s a nuisance and is very disrespectful”
“I know May I’m going to put her in therapy so she’ll learn to be more respectful” I was getting more mad at the bullshit that was going on outside my door. I opened my door and pushed passed them hearing various slanders being yelled at me I ran down the stairs and opened the door and slammed it shut running to the direction of the park my temporary home for the next few days.
The sun shines in my eyes waking me up signaling its morning I sit up and stretch my back making an audible cracking noise I got up and ran behind some bushes to change for school, once I was ready I switched shoes made my hair look decent and headed off to school. I walked into the building and was greeted by happy smiling faces the sound of laughter and perfect happy people. It made me feel UN easy until I saw my friends come towards me. They tried to start mindless chatter but I just kept quiet not in the mood to be dealing with anything so I headed to my first period class. I couldn’t concentrate at all too much on my mind so I just sat there made it look like I was doing work I was too numb to do anything. The class drowned on every minute seemed like an hour it seemed like the whole day went by before the second period bell rang. I trudged through the crowded hallway finally making it to English class. Another period that dragged on to infinity it was only ten am and I knew it was going to be a long day. It took forever before lunch period came but I wasn’t hungry so I just sat there staring off into space not really paying attention to anything it’s not like my friends will notice. Surprisingly lunch was the only period that ended quick today. I trudged through the hallways and went to my scheduled classes and went back to the park my temporary home. I hid my bag in a bush and just sat on the bench and stared at all the happy giggling children playing with their friends and the mothers looking over them very carefully. I felt tears sting my eyes but I wiped them away before they could fall. It reminded me how my mummy took me here every day when I was little. I walked over to an empty swing and swung slowly picking up some speed
“Come on Lorraine you have to kick your legs” I imagined my mother speaking to me like she did when I was younger. I used to always struggle on the swings but they were my favorite part of the park. I sighed and strode over to the monkey bars I always used to be scared when I was small because I was an exceptionally short kid but now I stand at a firm five foot nine and I was perfectly fine with that height. I stepped up on the small ladder and gripped the bars above me and started climbing across the bars until my hands slipped and landed on the ground. After that I went back to bench and laid down until I saw four familiar figures realizing it was my family looking for me I hid in the bush with my backpack and waited until I was sure my family has retreated the area.
