𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 ─ 𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐘

dead virgin

"am i gonna die a virgin?"
chapter five, act one
dead virgin

- 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕

"you really punched gale?" blair would say as she sat next to ethan on the bench, "she deserved it" tara would laugh at her own actions.

"okay nerds, listen up." mindy would say getting everyone's attention. "as terrifying as this all is, im actually glad i get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time."

"the way i see it someone is out to make a sequel a requel." mindy would explain looking ethan in the eyes causing blair to roll her eyes.

"um.. whats a requel?" anika would raise her hand and eye her girlfriend.

"your beautiful sweetie. let's hold questions till the end." mindy would say causing anika to drop her smile.

"stab one took place in woodsboro." sam would say while she looked up at mindy

"stab two took place in a college." tara would say now also looking up at mindy

"so we think the killer is trying to copy the movies?" blair asked looking at mindy.

mindy shook her head at the three girls, "that is one possibility. heroes now in college, check." she said to everyone before continuing. "suspicious new characters brought in to round out the suspect list and or body count, check, check and check." mindy would say eyeing ethan and quinn.

"seriously." ethan would say rollin his eyes and mindy who was indirectly accusing him of being ghostface

"there are certain rules for a continuing franchise." mindy would say earning the attention of blair

"rule number one: everything is bigger than last time, bigger budget, bigger cast, bigger body count." mindy would explain

"rule number two: whatever happened last time, except the opposite. franchises only survive by subverting expectations." mindy would continue

"and rule number three: no one is safe. legacy characters? cannon fodder at the point usually only brought back to be killed."

"and that's not even the worst part.." mindy would say earning a groan from blair who just wanted her to stop talking at this point.

"there's a worst part.." blair would sigh while looking at mindy.

"watch, this'll be the the part where she tells us the worst part.." chad would say causing blair to let out a chuckle

"the worst part in franchises are just continuing episodic installments designed to boost an ip." mindy would explain

"which means main characters are completely expendable now too, laurie strode, nancy thompson, ellen ripely, sally hardesty, jigsaw, tony stark, james bond, i mean even like skywalker all die so that their franchises can live on. that means it's not just the friend group, any of us can go at anytime. especially you to." mindy would explain again pointing at tara and sam.

"any of us?" ethan asked moving uncomfortably in his seat "does that mean im in the friend group??, am i gonna die a virgin.." ethan would say getting lost in his thoughts

"tmi ethan.." mindy would explain with a weird look on her face.

after mindys horror mansplaining everyone eventually went their separate ways.

"do you really have to go to econ tonight?" blair would say as she walked with ethan

"yeah but it'll be quick i promise." ethan would say grabbing blairs hand.

"ughh" blair would complain as they walked to her apartment. "are you sure your gonna be okay? i don't have to go if you don't want me to-" ethan would try to explain before getting cut off by lips pressing onto his.

"it's okay, go to econ.. party it up?" blair would say laughing at the last bit of her sentence.

"it's only a few hours, ill be at yours right after it's over." ethan would say as he led blair to her apartment

7...8...9...10.

"ugh i'm gonna miss you" blair said as she hugged ethan.

"im gonna miss you too, be safe!!" ethan would yell before walking back into the elevator.

gabby speaks

i hope this isn't too cringe for you guys, also this is like my second fanfic so if the writing is bad i'm really sorry !!