female celebrity comfort stories

stress cleaning | scarlett johansson

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everything got so loud.

everything was so overwhelming and my brain couldn't process anymore information.

all the things i was failing at were just sitting in the front of my brain taking up all the room, so there was no more space for other thoughts.

the only thing that shut it all up was cleaning. completely and utter cleanse of all surfaces i could see.

i was particularly aware i was having a panic attack but it wasn't really the time to acknowledge that.

my headphones were already on my head, they don't really ever move from that spot. they're great for blocking out all the background noise that makes me overwhelmed.

they just don't block out the thoughts that make me overwhelmed.

i had the song 'roslyn' playing over and over again. it was the first song that can on when i shuffled my playlist earlier so i fixated on it.

i wouldn't be able to say how much time had passed before i felt the vibration of the door opening.

i was in the middle of polishing one of my guitars when i was interrupted.

it was colin.

i only turned to look at him briefly before getting back to cleaning.

i could kind of hear him saying something but my ears were fuzzy and nothing was really going into my head at the moment.

i felt the door close, pausing for a second to wonder if i should go ask him what he wanted but i decided against it.

the puffy red eyes, tears streaming down my face and blood pouring from my fingertips wasn't the look i was trying to parade around, even if it was just in the house.

along with the numbness of my face, hands and pretty much everything there was this huge urge to rip the skin off my entire body. which i tried to fulfil.

when i get anxious i'm always doing something with my hands. if it's playing with my rings, mamas rings or wrapping my hoodie strings around my fingers until i cut off my circulation.

this time it was quite bad, i had resorted to just ripping the skin off from my fingertips.

i had moved onto wiping down and dusting my drawers when i felt the door open once more.

the door was just on my left this time so i could see out if the corner of my eye the blonde haired short figure.

it was mama.

shortly after colin had come in to see what all the noise was he went downstairs to talk to mama.

"y/n is acting a little weird."

scarlett furrowed her eyebrows and turned away from the tv to look at her husband.

"what do you mean 'weird'. they're always a little odd but is this a good or bad weird?"

"bad. definitely bad. they were crying i think and they were just sat on the floor cleaning one of their guitars, they seemed really out of it though."

scarlett's face dropped, mama knows all my tell tale signs of a panic attack and those definitely checked all the boxes.

putting her raspberry tea down on the coffee table and racing up the stairs towards my bedroom she slowed down just before she reached the door trying to avoid scaring me with any sudden movements.

mama knows i'm very aware of the things going on around me and i can always hear people coming from a mile away, and her panic would only make my panic worse.

she quietly knocked the door and pushed it open gently, peaking her head through to find me furiously polishing my yelena belova funko pop that sat atop my drawers.

she crept in, slowly closing the door behind her and making her way to sit on the edge of my bed.

mama was very observant too, she sat and watched me clean and clean endlessly for some time to pick up on my mannerisms and figure out how best to approach me.

she knew trying to stop me wasn't the right move. it only makes me feel worse when i'm interrupted during my stress cleaning.

eventually she stood up and joined me in polishing my funko pops, she picked up my black widow one and grinned softly at the irony, taking joy in cleaning her own face with a micro fibre cloth.

she put the figure back in it's proper place and wrapped her arms around my waist, her cheek resting on my head.

hugging me with a lot of pressure, keeping her arms steady and matching her breath with mine.

she knows exactly how to play me, how to get me calm enough to talk to.

i inhaled deeply. leaning my head back to rest in the crook of her neck.

she took my headphones off my head placing them down gently on the desk in front of us.

she kept her arms crossed over my chest holding me tightly.

"mama". i said barely above a whisper. my voice shaking.

"i know baby, it's okay, i'm right here."

i fully turned to face mama, still leaving my face in her neck.

"too loud mama. too loud."

"it's okay darling. i've got you. we're going to get through this together. i'm not going anywhere."

my legs gave out from under me i collapsed in her arms, in a pool of tears.

mama still held onto me, lowering to her knees, resting her chin on my head.

we spent the next few months in similar places. crying on the bathroom floor or in the front seat of the car.

there were a lot of calls from school when i would just disappear. for hours and hours.

i needed to disappear, to get better. no more stress from school or the constant worry of having my every move watched and recorded for the entire world to see.

i was trying so hard to get better, for mama.

it worked, i'm getting better.

it's finally better.

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1084 words.

hi guys, thank you so much for 15K reads. i appreciate each and every single one of you.

sorry for being inactive for soooo long. hate exam season so much. just thought i'd give you a heads up that updates will be less frequent in the next few months. sorry <\3

i'll try and finish some of my drafts and just post them every couple of weeks so you all have new content.

have a good day <3

hope you enjoyed:)

marley :)))