London Boy | Jamie Flatters

Twenty-three

Finger hovering over the keyboard, I hesitate. Do I text him? Ask him how he's feeling? How everything went the other night after the sudden facetime call, where I was greeted by Jamie in a panic, hyperventilating against a pillar, blue eyes bloodshot with tears; I haven't been able to stop thinking about him.

Something like that had only happened a few times before, and it scared the shit out of me every single time. The first time, he was late to set, something uncommon for the typically prompt boy, who was so eager to do his first big job. Everyone was so busy on set that day, buzzing about filming the first big underwater scene; and while I hadn't been as close with Jamie at that point when Jim asked me to find him; I didn't hesitate to say yes.

I wasn't sure what to do when I found him hunched over on the couch, breathing out of control. Jamie had been so closed off, quiet and shy; I couldn't quite tell if that was just how he was or if it was me who made him act that way? Maybe he just didn't like me, Trinity's older sister who tagged along to everything.

Still, I couldn't just leave him sitting there. When I kneeled in front of him, I was careful not to touch him; something I couldn't help but notice made him uncomfortable. Whenever Jim initiated cast huddles, Jamie didn't squeeze in like the others. In the morning, when everyone hugged, greeting one another as if they hadn't seen each other the night before, he sat, not moving to initiate the greeting.

One time, our hands brushed while preparing cups of tea, and he visibly cringed, so I had a feeling touching him at that moment was the last thing that could help. So instead, I'd quietly said his name and helped him catch his breath, nodding encouragingly as his breathing slowed. Then, I just spoke to him, random ass topics that got his mind off whatever he was worried about.

Everything changed that day.

From then on, Jamie was no longer a closed book, at least not to me he wasn't; he began telling me how nervous he was, how scared he was to fuck everything up and fail at achieving his dreams. We went from strangers to best friends in the blink of an eye.

I still remember our first hug. It shocked me so much that it took me a few seconds to reciprocate the action. It was after Christmas break and the two-week holiday; everyone was extra excited to see one another that morning, hugging each other like it'd been centuries rather than two weeks. I expected Jamie to just sit there, but he stood when I walked into the room, sweeping me into his arms, lips pressed against the top of my head as he muttered how much he missed me.

I miss him so much. I sigh, falling back onto my pillow, hair spreading out onto the pillow. I'm still staring at Jamie and I's old text thread, debating what to say to him when my phone begins ringing, Jack's profile picture taking over the screen, a selfie of us at Disney on his eighteenth birthday, me on his back, in front of Cinderella castle.

I answer without hesitation, happy for a distraction from my thoughts, "Jacky," I smile when his goofy grin appears on my screen, face close enough to the screen I can hardly see anything else. "To what do I owe this honour?"

Jack chuckles, moving to lean back against the headboard of his hotel bed while I continue holding my phone in the air, hovering to show myself, "just missed you," Jack shrugs goofily.

Before I can reply, someone else calls out, the last voice I expected to hear coming from Jack's room, "is that Eden?" Lilly questions, excitedly; before I know it, she's on the screen too, leaning into Jack to get a look at the screen in his hands. She's dressed more casually than I'd ever seen her, hair tied into a loose braid, skin free of any makeup as she waves toward me, "oh my god! Hi!"

With furrowed brows, I sit up a little straighter, "hey, Lilly?"

My greeting comes off as a question, and Jack and Lilly must be able to tell because he says, "you've missed a lot, dude."