Chapter 1: Anxiety

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I was running as I looked for help and yelled while running out of breath. Who is that man and why does he keep on following me? He's not even breathing hard as we've run for quite some time. And where is everybody? Why are we in some white room that is endless? I know I'm dreaming yet I can't control where I want to be. Is it because of this man? I want to escape this lonely pitiful scary place that screams of terror.
The only person I see is him. Who exactly is he and what does he want from me? "P-Please. . . help me!" I tripped as I fell on a random white camouflaged bump on the floor. He was getting closer and closer. "Get away. . G-Get away from me!"
He stood in front of me, smiling in a scary looking way and took out a camera behind him. "How pitiful you look, Evangeline. If on,y you remembered, hoe could you forget and leave everything you left and caused?" He took a picture of me and everything soon started going black. What was he talking about?

I gasped as I woke up sweating as I ran out of breath. Why do I keep getting the same dream over and over again? Is it actually just a dream?
It's really exhausting now that I've now learned how to lucid dream and get no sleep because of it. What is going on and why does he keep appearing every single night in my dreams? It's as if somebody is watching me, wanting me to suffer. But at the same time, he looked down, unless I was just imagining it.

When I was born, I had a twin. I don't remember much when I was a newborn but I did see things clearer when I was one. I had infantile amnesia and childhood amnesia.
   My mom was crying tears of joy when my brother was born but not me. "Oh my gosh! They're beautiful! I will name him Evan."

My dad nodded awkwardly because my mother was only appreciating my younger brother Evan. " 'They' look beautiful just like us. Don't 'they', honey?"

My mother stared at me disgustingly and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Both of them." As she was holding Evan in her arms, only paying attention to him.

Father then spoke up to break the weird atmosphere. "Ahem, and I shall name her Evangeline for matching names since they're twins."

He smiled, staring at the both of us lovingly.

Well, as to what my parents said, so I'm not really sure of what else happened based on their response.




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When I was 1, I remembered everything and I learned how to walk faster than other babies. I was a very hostile baby yelling all the time and throwing tantrums. But, my brother Evan was a smart and calm baby. Always a step ahead at everything. He was more praised because he grew up to be a very kind kid. But, that's not what I see. In reality, he's a devil. At 5 years old, he started making fun of me and whenever he made a mess, he always blamed it on me. Mom believed him all the time since I was a crazy kid.
When we were 8, Evan started off with basic messes to get me in trouble.
"Mom! It was Evangeline! She broke your favorite Vase!" He started fake crying and looked at me with an evil grin as I got scolded. My mom yelled at me whenever I do these "messes" that I don't actually do. "Evangeline. . . ! Go to your room! Look what you did! You're not eating tonight, so think of your reflected actions!" I started crying and ran to my room. I've thought about running away at times and also thought to myself, why do I have to be born with an awful twin brother? What have I done to deserve this? How can I be a better daughter and make my brother like me? It's not like it's my fault for any of this. I really don't understand why Evan does this to me. I've never done anything to him to make him hate me this much. I start yelling as my pillow covers my face so that I'm not loud. "Fine! I hate you! I hate you Evan, and you too mom! I hope you die!" I've had many downs, never ups. I learned how to say these violent words because of Evan. The rage got in my head and I started saying stuff that I didn't know was really bad at the time so I always said it whenever I was mad. They just don't know that though. If Mom or dad ever found out, I would've been grounded. And if Evan found out, he would've definitely snitched on me. So I never talked back or said a word to them and stayed quiet. This turned into a daily routine for me and my mom started to dislike me because I was a horrible daughter who always made disasters and got bad grades.
Even at school, Evan still bullied me and told me how dumb I was and that I would never catch up to him because I'm a 'loser who can't do anything correctly.' There were times when he also made me late to the bus on purpose so I had to walk back home alone.

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