The Study Group

Chapter 8: English Papers| Nadia

"What do you need help with?" she asked me as I opened my computer and pulled up my draft. I hated English class, as the language never made sense to me. You could place words anywhere and the sentence would still make sense. There was no structure or order to the language--only chaos.

"I was hoping to get some help on my grammar," I told her. "English is not my first language, so it's a little difficult to write a paper."

"That's okay," she smiled. Something about her smile was quite captivating. "I can help with that."

"Wonderful," I smiled back. "I'm glad I found help before it became too difficult."

My mother had always taught me to seek help if I ever struggled with school. She spent countless nights with me at the table, helping me with my homework. Her advice has always stuck with me since she first taught it to me.

It was like a motto for her. She always told me "ጓለይ ቅድሚ ምጥሓልኪ ሓገዝ ርኸቢ." At first, I never understood what she meant. But as I grew older, and the amount of work grew with me, I realized what it felt like to drown. To sink endlessly into papers and textbooks of homework, with that suffocating sensation as it all becomes too much to handle alone. It was always better to get help on that which I did not understand, rather than drown in the chaos and confusion.

"So, do you have a rough draft of your paper?" Mariah asked me, as she reached for my computer. "I could proofread it for you."

"Ah, that would be wonderful," I said, pushing the laptop towards her. She stared intently at the screen. It took me a moment before I realized she was already reading my paper. I looked around awkwardly, with nothing to do but wait for her to finish reading. The actual boy who was supposed to be tutoring was busy with the other student that arrived at the same time as I had. Then there was that other boy at the end of the table. When I first walked up to the table, I saw he was pretending to be deeply involved in the book he was holding. However, after that other boy, the one Mariah called Zach had started tutoring the other boy, his book became secondary. I watched his eyes dart to the pages of the book only when Zach looked at him. Otherwise, those eyes were fixed on the two boys opposite him, and a righteous fury festered in them.

"I think your introduction paragraph is really good," Mariah said, causing me to look back at her. She was still looking at my computer, sliding the screen so I could see it. "I think grammatically it's perfect, but I also think that your bridge could use some work."

"My bridge?" I asked her. "What's wrong with it?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong with it," she said quickly. "I just think that some rephrasing or rewording would help it tie the start of the paragraph to your thesis at the end."

"I see," I said, pulling out a notebook and taking note of her suggestions. "Thank you for the suggestion. I will make sure to take it into consideration."

"Of course," she smiled again. "Now, let's take a look at the rest of the paper."

Her head bowed slightly as she went back to reading my paper. Her eyes darted back and forth as she scanned the words on the screen. Her eyes were beautiful and so unique. The centers were like drops of amber, fracturing and splintering out into the grey edges of her irises. The colors of her eyes were vibrant and elegant, like the Tibeb patterns on the first kemi my mother had given me. As she read my paper, I watched a strand of hair slip from behind her ear. In one fluid motion, she tucked it back behind her ear without ever stopping what she was doing.

There was something about her that caused my heart to race. I knew what I was feeling but I had never felt it so quickly with someone before. How had this girl managed to capture my heart in our first meeting?

"Your paper looks excellent, Nadia," she looked up and smiled at me. Those gentle eyes felt so inviting and warm. Her smile was so invigorating, it drove me mad. "I think you've made some excellent points to support your claim and your analysis of your quotes is masterfully done. I'm not your professor, but to me, this is a grade-A paper."

"Ah--I... um, thank you, Mariah," I couldn't help but fumble over my words as I spoke to her. "If you wouldn't mind... would you be willing to go--"

I stopped myself. This was horrible. How could I try to do anything if I couldn't speak? Mariah looked at me, her head cocked to the side and her smile oblivious to my struggle.

"ናድያ ኣስተንፍስ," I said to myself. After a quick breath, I tried again. "Mariah, would you be willing to get some coffee with me at Aroma Mocha?"

Her smile widened.

"Of course!" she said, grabbing her bag. "Let's go!"

"What right now?" I asked, shocked.

"No time like the present," she said, packing her things. I laughed to myself. She was infectious and yet, I couldn't help but feel as though I could spend a lifetime catching her contagion and never feel sick of it.

"Alright," I smiled, packing my bag. "Let's get going."

"That's the spirit!" she grabbed my hand and we began walking toward Aroma Mocha.

"I should probably let Zach know we're heading out," she said, gleefully hopping over to him and whispering in his ear. I wasn't sure what she said but his face turned a bright red at her words before he quickly shooed her away. Mariah came back to my side, giggling as she returned. We started walking away from the tutoring area.

"What did you say to him?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"Oh nothing," she laughed, discreetly gesturing to the tutor and the boy with the book. "I've just been trying to play matchmaker with those two for the last few years and I'm just having fun with it now."

"What do you mean?"

"They're both mutually pining for the other but neither seems to be willing to realize the other's feelings for them. So every once in a while I'll suggest the two of them just kiss already. This time I told Z he should hurry up and kiss Quintin over there before he kills the dude Zach's tutoring."

"Would he really kill another student for Zach?" I asked, mildly concerned.

"No!" she laughed heartily. "But Q was not trying to hide how he felt about the other guy sitting next to Z. If looks could kill, Q would have definitely sent that poor boy to the afterlife by now."

I laughed at the realization that Mariah, despite being focused on my paper, had also picked up on that boy's staring.

"His gaze was most definitely piercing," I laughed.

"Like a pair of daggers," she replied. She sighed and I watched her smile falter. "Why is he so stubborn?"

"What do you mean?"

"Quintin," she explained. "No matter how much I tell him he either needs to tell Zach how he feels or let him go, he ignores my advice. He's so stubborn."

"You know, I always thought that was the beautiful thing about love," I told her. She looked at me curiously, awaiting an explanation. "Love is something that can only be properly expressed when you are ready to say it for yourself. If you cannot share your feelings right away, love that is meant to be will wait for you until you're ready."