unbounded abyss

???

After dinner last night with David we began to grow closer, I felt needed in his presence.
The feeling was still strange to me, but I had mustered enough confidence to explore the bizzare feeling.

For the first time David and I had an unimportant conversation and unlike the other trivial conversations I had with other people it felt... Extraordinary. He had asked me such unnecessary questions such as: "what is your favorite color" "what is your favorite TV show" "do you have any hobbies" "what do you like to eat". The questions had no importance whatsoever but I felt a calming warm feeling in my chest at the fact that he had taken an interest in me.

My father became weakly ill due to his poor heart, he had gone through multiple surgeries. He was now being transferred to the hospital I was working at, I felt no urge whatsoever to see him. That night I was working behind my desk catching up on my admin, when my mother enters the door with David besides her. "my little Tara your father has been transferred to the hospital" "I'm quite aware" "how can you say that so casually, come and see your father" I look down at the list of Docters "he already has Docter white, so I see no need for me to come" "maybe your father would like to see you in his time of need" said David. "I don't see how that is such an important reason, that it should keep me from my work", "Tara I suggest you go and see your father, he might be missing you. I have witnessed many patients see how their parents died and it completely broke them and they would live with the guilt of not visiting them. I would not want something like that to happen to a close friend of mine, I can complete your admin for you""no tha-" "I insist" said David. I could not win against his hard-headedness, now I sit here besides my father's hospital bed. Strangely I did not feel sad, heartbroken or any of the other sorrowful emotions, I was merely there gazing apon his motionless body. The man in front of me was my father yet I felt no connection with him at all, I had once read one of the parenting books my mother had bought for me and it had once said that kids would need to always have a good relationship with there parents. I then began to wonder, do I have a good relationship with my parents.

Good is an adjective that describes someone or something that has positive, useful, healthy, admirable qualities or that which is pleasing or valuable or useful. As well as something very satisfactory, enjoyable, pleasant, or interesting. But our relationship was none of those, so what was it? I began to think, I grabbed onto the hand of the man in front of me, but I feel nothing. I quietly sigh as I rack my brain for the answer.

Then dr white entered the ward, I never really noticed him at all. But his bright blue hair caught my attention, it looked so strange yet calming. "is this your father?" asked Dr white because of our similar completion. I nod in response to his question, I then began to slightly stare at him. He gave me a strange look as if asking if why I'm staring "your hair." "what about it?" "it looks beautiful" the man gave me a strange look and said "thanks, my older sister passed away and her favorite color was blue, so I guess this is my way of mourning" said Dr white. "I have seen you all around the hospital but I don't seem to know your name" said Dr white "my name is Tara Moore, yours?" I asked curiously. "Adam  white" replied the Docter. Then I was shocked to realize that I was socializing to someone who wasn't David, I felt a sense of achievement with myself. "here's my number I'll update you on your father" said Adam "sure Docter white" "you can just call me Adam" said the Docter.

I then went back inside the admin room to see David already finished. "so how did it go?" asked David "it went well, but I believe his in good hands Adam knows his stuff" I replied. "Adam?" "he said he preferred that I call him Adam" he then gave me a strange look but immediately replaced it with a smile. The smile look strange, in a book I read it said that if someone was smiling and their eyes aren't crezed, it was fake he sent me that very same smile.

I went to sleep with a million thought clouding my head, David's strange behavior, my relationship with my parents, my bizarre interaction with Adam.

Two of the bars of my window shattered into pieces as the darkness in my cell began to get less. The whole made by the two of the four bars falling out wasn't big enough for me to fit through, but big enough for me to look outside and for once I did, and it was beautiful.