Before You Say Goodbye

Epilogue

Even though my mom was raised in a big family, grew up with so many siblings, Aunt Mila, older than my mom by seven years was my only aunt, and the eldest of the family was the only sibling who mattered to her growing up. Happily married with four kids, her life was mom's dream life. Mom used to tell me how as a teenager she was so envious of Aunt Mila, and so many years later, that still hadn't changed. She thinks Aunt Mila has a perfect life, but if you ask me, her life was far from perfect.

I hear her and her husband, Henri fighting every single day. I see the way Carson, rolls his eyes and tries to pretend their fighting doesn't affect him as much as it does. From what I could understand from their fights and from what Carson filled me in, Aunt Mila doesn't want to be the suburban housewife that Uncle Henri wants her to be, she also doesn't want to move from the city – which I heard they'd been planning to do for quite some time now. After getting married in her early twenties and raising four children one after the other, she's tired of the life she's been leading and wants to do something different, something interesting with her life. I understood her frustration and it immediately made me feel sad for her.

While mom was jealous of her sister after seeing her "perfect" life, she doesn't understand there was so much more that she wasn't aware her sister was going through. And maybe if she did, she'd not be so envious anymore.

I sighed, climbing into Carson's bed followed by Carson himself and his siblings. Elias, the eldest of them all was a freshman in college and was addicted to talking to his girlfriend on phone. They were in a long-distance relationship, trying to make it work. While he was studying in Berkley, she was in NYU. All summer, I was yet to see him without a phone in his hand or without the constant beeping of incoming messages following him. I don't think that's too healthy – but he insists it is, so...

Johanna, fondly known as Jo, was a senior in high school; she had recently broken up with her boyfriend and is unhappy with the fact that Elias was unintentionally rubbing his long, steady relationship in her face – her words. The nasty look she keeps throwing her brother scares me a little and I try not to broach the prohibited boyfriend subject. And that's why when Carson had brought up Roman in conversation at dinner last night and when she asked me who Roman was, I said he was just my friend and not my ex-boyfriend. Let her have the 'I just had a breakup' spotlight, I wasn't going to steal it from her; mainly because I was scared of Jo when she's like this – heartbroken and angry.

Carson, as you already know is my favorite and even though he is the same age as me, he was still only a sophomore in school. Something about him joining kindergarten later than I did.

Max, short for Maximilian was the baby of the family. The adorable little devil was only a couple of years younger than Alan and a complete terror. He keeps me up at night with his incessant and unapologetic screaming.

"I don't know how Alan can be interested in something like fishing," Carson said, "It's boring. We need to sit still for a very long time to capture just one fish."

I shrugged, thinking about the wide smile that lit up his face this morning when grandpa asked if he wanted to go with him to our old cabin in the woods. He had said they could go fishing and swim in the lake. Alan had immediately started bouncing and I mean, bouncing. He quickly got ready and left with grandpa – and that was about three hours ago. Nana says we can only expect them back home for dinner.

"Alan is more like grandpa – that's the only explanation I could think of," Elias said.

"I don't like the way that guy Trace keeps staring at you," Jo said, crossing her ankles as soon as she got comfortable next to me on the queen-size bed that Carson slept in, "Did you notice anything?"