[Chapter 1]:

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[You have been added to a new group chat: Therapy]

You:

Oh

I get it, it's some fun little 'haha we're all friends we take care of each other, it's like we're each other's therapists!'

Unless it's not

In which case please let me leave.


Unknown Number:

who tf is this


Unknown Number:

i have no idea.

hi?

who are you?


You:

Well

Y'know

I'd rather not say


Unknown Number:

...

this isn't a survey .

you don't have a 'rather not disclose' option.


You:

Oh, I'm so sorry for not introducing myself sooner–I'm Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States

Does one capitalize 'first lady'?


Unknown Number:

just kick it from the chat


Unknown Number:

...

working on it.


You:

How unnecessarily rude.


"It":

fucking michelle obama


You:

It's the internet

Well, cellular at least

Yall are strangers

In a group chat called therapy, no less, whcih doesnt bode very well for trying to have stable conversations

which**

I'm not giving out my real name just for kicksies

You have to *earn it*

"It":

somehow i doubt anything from you is worth earning


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