Caged Princess and The King

7. Why me?

Meera

He accused me of doing something against him and pushed me so hard that I fell on a vase which broke and pierced into my hand. He went out without even sparing me a glance. I got up, cleared the broken pieces, and threw them in the dustbin. I did first-aid to my wound and sat on the couch thinking about my life.

How my life took a drastic change after my parents left me. The girl who was always pampered and got anything she wanted became an opportunity for everyone. An opportunity to win the throne, an opportunity to take revenge, and an opportunity to take out their anger and frustration.

I have become a mere source of wealth and power to Mr. Rajput. He broke me in all the ways possible. If it was just me I would have fought with him and I am very much capable of handling him as I am not among the people who love their life. I lost hope in living the moment my parents died.

But, it's the responsibilities my ancestors left for me that made me weak in front of my enemy. It's the legacy of my family that made me incapable of running away. I couldn't let Eshwar Kaka ruin the lives of people who were always dependent on us and loyal to my family. This made my life a living hell.

The responsibility I hold towards the people and the promise I made to my parents ruined my life completely. I was forced to remain under house arrest in my own palace, I was forced to lie to the whole world, I was forced to marry someone who doesn't love me, whom I don't love.

Thinking about marriage, all the memories I had with my parents came running to me. My parents were madly in love with each other. They were each others' strength. They had the power to take down any enemy with their wit. They never let any misunderstandings break their trust. Mumma always told me that I would get a prince who would treat me like a queen. She said he would become my companion, my love, and my light but Rana sa is just throwing me into more darkness.

Marriage has always been my best dream like any other girl. Being a girl who lost everything at the age of 15, I wanted to find my every relation back in my husband but here my husband is not even ready to hear his name from my mouth. What have I done to deserve this fate?

"Shut Up Meera! When did you become this pathetic? Remember what Dad said? You are his warrior Princess! A warrior who doesn't need a Prince to save her and a Princess who knows how to care for her people. You should be strong enough to bear the responsibilities your parents left behind. You have to be strong enough to fulfill your duties towards both your families and the people here as their queen!" I said to myself and wiped away the tears with the back of my hand.

I started doing my work taking my laptop and typing with my left hand. It was difficult but I had to do it. I can't be weak. I am not allowed to feel weak!

I did my work but skipped my meals. No matter how much I try to act strong deep down I am a human being too. Even I crave love and attention which I never get. I can be a Princess and a warrior but before that, I am a woman! A woman who has a lot of expectations from her married life which can't be fulfilled. A girl who woven an entire dream world based on the stories her mother narrated. Being a responsible one I just can't yell at anyone to vent my frustration. I can't punish anyone for my state so I am punishing myself by staying hungry.

It was 9 p.m. when I heard a knock on the door. Maybe Mom sent someone to call me for dinner.

"I don't want to eat!" I replied but I heard a knock again. What's wrong with people? Why can't they just leave me alone? The knocking continued. I got irritated and asked the person to come in.

Aneesh bhai walked in and sat on the couch.

"Bhabi, it's dinner time. Let's go!" He said and turned to leave but stopped when I made no attempt to move from my place. He raised a brow at me asking what.

"I'm not hungry bhai. Please you people continue!" I said in a low voice. He came and sat beside me with his hands folded on his chest like a grumpy kid.

"We are not going to have our dinner without you bhabi. Either you will come and have dinner with us or we will also sleep empty stomach." He said in a sad tone giving me puppy eyes. Emotional blackmail!

Blackmail is not something new for me. I have been blackmailed for years now. But this one felt good because this was out of concern while the earlier ones were out of greed and hunger for power. I gave in to his blackmail and walked out with him. He was grinning like a kid all the way to the dining hall. I took a seat beside Aneesh bhai.

Dad asked me about my hand and I told him that I fell on a vase and got hurt. I told the truth but it was half true. I really got hurt because I fell on the vase but I didn't say that I fell because his son pushed me. I tried to hold the spoon but I failed to hold it. Aneesh bhai noticed it and helped me.

For the first time, someone is feeding me after 3 years. Bhai used to feed me after my parents' death but Kaka sa sent him away after seeing our closeness. He always made sure to keep one of us busy to ensure I didn't get any family love. But now seeing Aneesh bhai feeding me tears formed in my eyes and came out without my permission.

He panicked looking at my tears but I said they were due to happiness which made him relaxed. I had my dinner and waited for Bhai to complete his. I went back to my room after dinner, made my bed on the ground, and lay down. I didn't even spare a glance at Rana Ji all the while. The way he behaved has deeply hurt me. I know he hates my Kaka sa and is not really happy about marrying me but he has no right to accuse me of something without any proof.

I am going to ignore talking to him or having any kind of interaction with him at any cost. I will fulfill my responsibilities towards everyone but I am not going to talk to him. He can't just crush my self-respect under his shoes. I am not going to allow that.

After some time I felt him getting up from his place. He went into the closet and came back with a first-aid box. He sat beside me and took my hand in his. I jerked away my hand.

"It's not dressed properly.." He said looking at my hand.

"As if you care!" I exclaimed in pure anger. I saw an emotion passing his eyes just for a millisecond.

"I thought it was you because of your conversation in the morning. And I didn't know I pushed you so hard that you fell on the vase." He said looking down. As much as I heard about the king of Udaipur, he is ruthless and dominating. But why is he explaining things to me?

"Does it change anything, Rana Ji?" I asked looking away.

"Maybe no but let me dress up your hand." He said taking my hand and unwrapping the bandage.

"You don't need to show me any fake concern!" I retorted. But a part of me felt happy that he at least accepted his mistake.

But am I going to forgive him because of this?

No!

"I don't need to act Meera. No one can say anything to me if I do something. I really wanted to dress up your wound." He said cleaning the wound. He's right though. No one dares to question his actions even if he beats someone to death. Then why is he dressing up my wound?

"Why?" I asked but he didn't say anything. He dressed up my wound and went away. Why is this man giving me mixed signals? One moment he makes me feel like he is concerned about me, like something good can be achieved in this relationship, like we have a chance, and the very next moment it feels like he hates my existence.

Is this man confused or is he bipolar? At times it looks like he is fighting a battle with himself and is trying hard to prove something to himself but what is it? Why did he marry me if revenge is what he wants from Kaka? Why is he so distant from his own mother? Why is this man so mysterious? 

He cleared his throat bringing me out of my imagination and walked to his bed. I too lay on my bedding on the ground. Sleeping on the ground is not something new to me. Thanks to Mr. Eashwar, I have been doing it for years now. I thought it would change after my marriage but it doesn't seem so. 

Just one year, Meera! Endure all this for a year and then you can kick that Eshwar out of your life and palace. One year!