How are you gonna turn it all back

i will never go back to you

After two days Itt finally woke up but he wasn't happy about it since he felt soulless as if something was stolen from him.
Also he was scared of something or someone but he didn't knew what it was. After he realized were he was his memory about the painful days came back but he wondered why his heart didn't react to this painful memory.

After he fully woke up he saw gear and his heart and mind was happy that people still cared about him. But his neck hurt like he has never realized before he had a hard time sitting up and he had to get the help of gear otherwise he wouldn't be able to sit up. Gear offered him water and after drinking it he felt refreshed.

Gear: itt how are you feeling?

Itt: better i guess other than my neck everything is fine.

Gear: that's good to hear but you know i didn't want to hear about you physical condition.

Itt: to be honest i don't know i feel empty as if something is missing but i don't know what it is.

Gear: ohh and what about day will you forgive him or after he remembers go back together with him.

Itt: honestly i don't know but right know i don't want to think about him. You know gear after i already saw my death i realized i should love myself before I can love someone else. Because you saw i only lived my live for day and after he didn't remember me i was so determined to make him remember me that i forget that day doesn't even want me so it's my fault since I didn't realize that day doesn't have feelings for me so this happening to me was my fault.

Gear: what are you one about your fault no it's this bastards fault i swart to good if he ever comes near you again i will punch him so hard that his body flyes out of the building.

Itt: you know i don't want that but thank you anyway.

With that gear and itt laughed together but didn't knew what would come.

Itt and gear heard the door and thought it was a nurse checking up on itt but it was the person they least want to see.

Gear the best he could stood in front of day.

But no one realized that itt was shaking uncontrollable.

Gear: itt hey ..... Itt hey what's going on.

But itt couldn't hear any of that it was like his body reacted himself even though his mind was clear but he couldn't stop and his body soon gave up.

Day: itt hey itt are you okay

Day wanted to go to itt so bad because he saw what happened to his lover he was worried but gear wouldn't let him.

Gear: what exactly do you think you are doing hear.

Day: don't you have eyes i want to see itt my boyfriend.

Gear was laughing almost crying. And he punched day in the face so that day fell to the ground.

Gear: YOUR BOYFRIEND... YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!! are you serious right know don't you remember what you did to itt you almost killed him because You thought he wanted to kill your new lover called nick. You went to his house confronting him about things he had no idea about. Do you even know how much itt was suffering during the 3 month you losed your memory. And don't tell me you don't remember.

Day: i remember but i got my memorys back and i remember itt now. I know what i did was wrong and i want to make it up to him.

Gear: make it up to him. How exactly are you trying to do that. You can be happy if he doesn't bring you to jail for attempt murder. Don't come near itt again.

Day: gear please let me talk to itt at least. Itt should be the one to tell me not to come near him again and even if he would tell me that i would never give up on him since I love him and you know exactly that i am serious about it. I would rather kill him then to let someone else have itt.

Gear: kill him. You already almost did that. I warn you day if you try something i will kill you even if night is your brother and he loves you but i also live itt as a friend and i won't just sitt there if you hurt him.

Itt: gear it's okay let day talk to me.

When gear and day were arguing itt has comeback from his panick attack. And listened to the conversation and he was really happy to have a friend like gear.

Day: itt please listen to me.

Day wanted to go to the bed were itt was lying in but he saw itt shaking a little bit he stood still as itt told him not to come closer. Day knew at that time that it would be hard to get back itt.

Itt didn't realize that his body begun to shake again. And therefore he had to stop day from coming closer to him since his body reacts to day.

Itt: don't come any closer tell me what you want and then leave i don't really want to see you right now!

Day: itt i totally understand you but can i please make it up to you. You know i love you.

Itt: actually no i don't know if you love  me because even if you forgot me you heart would still remember but you fell in love with someone else. Even wanting to kill me so no day i don't see were you loved me. Because all you did was being possessive and controlling of me i always had to obey your rules otherwise you would have hurt me. So if you truly love me let me go for the time being because I have decided to love myself before loving someone else. I decided to set myself at first place to really get to know myself better and what i truly want. So I ask you day please let me go and let me do that without you bothering me. Can you do that?

Day: i understand and yes i will let you go but only for the time being because you know itt i can't be without you for a long time. So can you promise me that we will get back together.

Itt: honestly no i can't promise you this since I don't know if I will ever go back into this and to you. I will have to see.

Day: ok seems like i have to let you go this time but i won't give up. If you have any problems you know my number.

With that day left the room but he definitely knew he would never let go of itt. He will definitely follow him so that no one gets to have him.

After reading the novel i am using the characters from the day from the book.