Graduation.
My one destination.
After is my exploration.
I dreamt of you.
Standing, watching the view.
You would see me and change your point of view.
You believed in more.
You were never shore.
If I was enough for you anymore.
I wasn't enough.
I knew it would be rough.
I tried to be tough.
I believed in the inevitable.
You believed it was end-able.
I wasn't dependable.
You told me you would still love me.
Not enough to ever want to take a knee.
Now you have set me free.
I try everyday.
I hope and I pray.
That you are okay.
But why should I care?
Why should I stare?
You didn't even feel despair.
I cry a tear everyday.
One day I will be okay.
Listening to the humming sound of the blue jay.
The song I sang.
To tune out the loud bang.
The pounding of my pain.
I get visions of you.
How happy we were as two.
But I know you will find someone new.
She will be lovely.
So brave and above me.
She definitely won't be ugly.
I will be happy for you.
I will pray our love was true.
That I had any benefit to you.
Maybe we will be friends.
Or maybe this is how it ends.
It all depends.
I pour my heart.
I write while we are apart.
The feeling is tart.
I listen.
I envision.
You were my only mission.
Now it is the end.
I will not defend.
For it is I who needs to bend.
Fix my flaws.
My fragile laws.
That do not deserve applause.
I have learned so much.
I had a hunch.
That we would never make it to that lunch.
You ended it.
I didn't like it one bit.
I chose not to throw a fit.
I just want to say that I am sorry.
I'm sorry for all the trouble and worry.
I just wanted to be like Topanga and Cory.
But he wanted her back.
His tears did not lack.
He accepted every knickknack.
I felt like her.
I was always sure.
I was never a victim of devilish lure.
I saw you.
I wanted to see how much you grew.
With us as two.
We talked about our future.
Tried to see the bigger picture.
But it always ended with a difference in mixture.
We wanted a dog.
We even had a frog.
We would write down our dreams like a catalog.
I flip through the dreams.
It will never happen it seems.
Forever-ever-never our relation deems.
That song keeps playing.
As I am laying.
I am losing my hope I was saying.
Once the sadness is gone.
I won't be your feeble pawn.
But a warrior to rise at the break of dawn.
I want you to know.
That you didn't break me, just allowed me to grow.
I am your righteous foe.
We agreed.
That time will tell indeed.
You are not my only need.
I have people.
That will lift me up from this evil.
I will soar like a magnificent eagle.
I fly high.
I probably will cry.
But it is better then praying that I will die.
I hope for closure.
That I won't think about this tiresome disclosure.
I will understand why we are over.
Maybe you won't have to tell me.
Maybe if you just let me be.
Maybe I will begin to agree.
I will voice.
That this was the right choice.
I will quiet all the noise.
All that will be left.
A heart, a victim of theft.
But healed not by swift.
But by time.
With the people hoping to revive my chime.
Will I be free from this dreadful crime.
My obsession.
Will soon lesson.
For this is the cause of my depression.
The next step is acceptance.
I will stop searching for vengeance.
But looking for the person who will long for my perfect attendance.
They will love me.
From the top of my head, to the scuff upon my knee.
So happy I will be.
It may be she.
Or possibly a he.
We will see.
If we were meant for each other.
We will find one another.
But I will not sit here and pray for your shoulder.
I believe you are special.
You did lack some sentimental.
You believed I was mental.
I am human.
It was me I kept proven.
But despite my efforts I kept losing.
I was doomed by our predetermined fate.
I should have known since our very first date.
That your parents would never approve of me as your mate.
They have won.
We are done.
I will not search for a gun.
I choose to smile.
Sure I was in denial.
But this was one long mile.
I apologize.
For all my lies.
And my meaningless cries.
I cannot sit here.
And watch you watch me disappear.
Into the shadows of shame and fear.
I want peace.
I will not cease.
For I am not just some lost art piece.
I am strong.
I still sing my song.
You did nothing wrong.
You needed space.
I was lost in the chase.
I never made it to the end of the race.
But I am a character.
Not just an amateur.
But an all star player.
Life is a game.
You want the riches and fame.
But am I lame?
For wanting more.
For wanting to be happy and nothing more.
Because I always felt like it had more in store.
I wanted a dog, maybe two or three.
A corgi.
Named Lemon Cello it would be.
I dreamt of a home.
A place where my thoughts could roam.
A place I could sit and feel peace on my throne.
I want kids.
I want to watch them grow big.
I want to tell them about the things I did.
I want a passion.
Not a job that drains my joy of interaction.
But instead brings me excitement for the daily action.
I want to explore.
See what the world has in store.
Experience cultures and customs from people before.
In the end of the day, this is who I am.
I will be standing there with my diploma in my hand.
And you won't be there in that stand.
I won't receive that hug or kiss.
I won't have that feeling of bliss.
But for you, I now won't have to miss.
