𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌'𝖘 𝖊𝖓𝖉

11

𝖆𝖉𝖆𝖑𝖞𝖓'𝖘 𝖕𝖔𝖛
I open the door quietly, peering out to see Brayden asleep on my couch. The TV is on, but it's quiet. I scan for Hannah, and when I don't see her, I call Madison out. I walk to the fridge and quickly open the freezer drawer, pulling an icepack out.
"Just be quiet." I warn, shaking my head as she follows me into the now lit bathroom.
Hannah's makeup is scattered across one side of the counter, and mine is neatly placed on the other side. I nod to empty space on the counter, watching as Madison places her hands on the edge and hops up onto it.
"Do you need me to check on your hand, too?" I ask, setting the cold pack on the marble beside her.
"I guess so." She shrugs.
I can't even begin to fathom how horrible these past two nights have been-- for the both of us. Except earlier. Fuck, I loved earlier.
I hand her the icepack to apply on her stomach, pulling her wrapped hand towards me. I slowly unravel the tight bandaging, tossing it into the garbage.
Staring at the mess of her hand, I grimace. Her knuckles are crooked and split open, her fingers scattered with cuts and bruises.
She visibly and audibly winces as I graze the front of her hand, bruising just above her palm.
I softly wipe her knuckles, watching for a negative reaction. Her head falls onto my shoulder, and I watch as she quickly drops the icepack onto the floor.
She curses beneath her breath, her free hand making immediate contact with my bare waist. My zip up shifts.
  "Shit, sorry."
Still trying to focus on cleaning her hand, I dab at it with the wet cloth.
"Gentle, Ada." She winces, her forehead still resting on my shoulder.
"I'm trying." I adjust, swallowing.
  I don't remember her hand being this bad before.
  "Shit, Madison. Were you using it?" I look up to her. "I think it's worse."
  "No." Her voice is quiet.
Among other signs, she can't make eye contact with me. She's lying.
  "Tell me the truth." I stop everything I'm doing, my arms falling back down to my sides.
"I am." She finally meets my stare, her brows furrowed. "I didn't use it."
I just stare at her, sighing deeply.
"Do you not trust me?" I shake my head. "You don't have to lie."
"I trust you, Ada." Her hands find my hips. "I promise."
She plants a kiss on my bare shoulder, speaking into my skin.
"I just can't tell you."
  I curse, looking off and at the wall beside us.
  "I'm worried, Madison." I whisper. "Who did it? Don't lie."
The eye contact is almost too much from the both of us. I know her eyes are swirling with something other than confidence, for once. Lying to me isn't much of an easy thing. I may have excused it earlier, but seeing how bad it is now begs the question.
  "I-" She sighs.
  "It was Brayden, wasn't it?" I immediately frown, my head cocking. "That's why you have those bruises and he has the black eye."
  It couldn't have been just him. She would've won that fight easy.
  "Ada, leave it." She warns, watching as I turn towards the door. "Leave it."
  "No, Madison. He can't just hurt you and get away with it." I shake my head, scoffing.
  "Stop-"
  I open the door and walk out, nearly reaching the couch before I feel a firm hand pulling me back. She grips onto my arm.
"Adalyn."
"Let me go," I warn. "Please."
She watches me, her eyes focused on the movement of my lips. The way she's looking at me- it's like she literally wants to eat me.
  Madison tugs me back towards her. "I told you to leave it."
  "He-" I start.
Her fingertips trace my hips, goosebumps rising beneath them. I shudder, closing my eyes as I'm cut off. In this moment, I very honestly wish I didn't love the feel of her so much.
  "Listen to me," she says, staring me down. When I don't look at her, she sighs. "Baby, please."
I open my eyes, met with her slightly teary ones.
"Tonight I've found out things about him that even I'm afraid to admit. Who knows what he'll do if you kick him out?" her hands fit almost perfectly to the curve of my hips. "Ada, I don't want you hurt. All I want, all I need, is the best for you. Please just listen."
"What?" My eyes widen slightly. "No. Madison, I won't let him stay. I know you want everything right for me, but I'm not trusting him. I can't."
"Trust me." She blinks, subtle tears still welling in her eyes. "Don't trust him. Trust me."
"How am I supposed to trust you when you're letting him stay here?" I suddenly snap. "If he's so dangerous, why not just kick him out before he can do anything? I can't trust you when your actions make no fucking sense, Madison. Not to mention all the lies you're telling me. You couldn't even tell me what more you did to your hand, I had to figure it out all by my-fucking-self."
  She sigh, her hands loosening around me.
"I just wanted the best for you," she mutters quietly, swallowing.
  "I'm sorry." I blink, my brows furrowing ever so slightly. "I didn't-"
  "Forget it."
  "Madison, I'm sorry-"
"I said forget it." I can tell she's trying her best to control herself. "Just go back to bed, Adalyn."
  She lets go of me, my entire body immediately cooling down. She turns away and walks back into the bathroom.
I stare, flinching slightly as the door is slammed right in my face.
  Why had I snapped at her like that?
I step towards the door, glancing behind me to make sure Brayden isn't awake. Leaning in, I listen close.
I can hear her muttering to herself, slight sounds come alongside her quiet voice. Like she's pounding softly on the counter, or maybe the wall.
"Madison?" I mumble, my hand on the firm white surface in front of me.
She doesn't respond, her voice slowly fading off. She's gone completely quiet now, and it honestly terrifies me.
I can hear her walking towards the door, her footsteps getting slightly louder for each moment that passes. The knob turns, and light floods into the previously dark living room.
We stand in silence, and I can tell the most she can do right now is try not to yell. This is new for her, and I know that.
"I'm s-"
"No, Ada," she interrupts me. "No. You aren't sorry. I know I do this to you all the time, and now I'm realizing how fucking awful it feels. I'm sorry for that. But I know for a fact that you aren't. I was doing this for you, Adalyn. I said all of that for you. I did all of that for you. I risked my life for you, my wellbeing, my health. All for you. And this is what I get? You yelling at me when all I'm trying to do is look out for you? I cannot stand you upset or hurt or sad, Ada, and you know that. So you getting angry at me for trying my best to give you my all is un-fucking-called for. And I'm sorry if any of this was my fault. I didn't mean to upset you, I didn't mean to hurt you. Maybe I didn't mean to open this door, or maybe I just can't stay mad at you. Maybe I didn't even mean to fucking come here."
I open my mouth to speak, but the door is slammed in my face- once again- before I can get a single word out.
I know I snapped at her, and I know what I said was probably wrong, but still. I'm still mad at her. Is there something wrong with me?
I don't feel like thinking right now.
I slowly turn around, shuffling back into my dark room. My sheets are jumbled around and spilled onto the floor, proving the night to be a lot more annoying. I unzip my hoodie and pull it off, tossing it onto the floor, leaving me in my bra.
I lift most of the blankets back onto my bed, peeling them back and slipping under. I shiver and close my eyes, my head tucked into the comfort of both the blanket and my own hands, Only I had wished they were the hands of someone else.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
𝖒𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖓'𝖘 𝖕𝖔𝖛
She didn't have to know. I wasn't planning on telling her.
Now that she knows what he's capable of, there's no way she'll feel secure around him ever again- not that I wanted her to. She won't feel safe in her own home. She might even be angry, angry enough to do something about it.
She won't feel safe around me. What the fuck did I just do? She said she didn't trust me.
I stick the last of the bandage to my pre-wrapped hand, opening and closing it to test the mobility. I had forgotten all about the bruises, and I think that's for the better. Whatever had happened tonight, I wanted to forget.
  Tossing the wrap back onto the counter, I look up and into the mirror.
Fuck.
  I take a moment to fix my appearance before taking a deep breath and walking out of the bathroom. Ada's door is shut, and I can hear no movement from inside.
  Although I was frustrated that she pushed me to tell her, I knew she would've found out eventually. I shouldn't have yelled at her, and I shouldn't have opened the door. It could've prevented all of this. Giving in to my own guilt, I open the door and take a quiet step into the room. As I shut the door behind me, I notice Ada already in her bed.
  She's curled up beneath the sheets, her head tucked into her hands and cheeks lightly stained with tears. I curse myself for making her cry.
  Stepping closer, I sigh. I bend down to get closer to her, my hand clearing any stray hairs from her face. Though her eyes are closed and she's probably asleep, I know it bothers her.
  "I didn't mean to," I whisper. "I'm sorry, baby."
  Her muscles relax beneath my touch, though her heart is still racing as fast as ever.
  "I'm so sorry."
  I stand back up and walk over to the other side of her bed, sitting down on the edge. I slip my hoodie over my head, setting it down on the empty nightstand. I lift my legs up and onto the mattress, pulling the blankets over me. Guilt washes over me once more, bringing me even closer to her.
She instinctively and almost unknowingly turns towards me, her eyes still softly closed. As soon as she takes a breath in, her eyes snap open.
  "Madison?" her eyes focus on me, her brows already furrowed.
  "Ada-" I start, then regret clouding my thoughts.
  "No," She starts to shake her head, sleep still evident on her face. "Get out. I don't want to
talk to you right now."
  She stares in my direction for a moment, though unable to make eye contact.
  "I think you should go." Her eyes glisten with tears, but none slip. Not one.
  "A-"
  "I said go."
       .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
𝖆𝖉𝖆𝖑𝖞𝖓'𝖘 𝖕𝖔𝖛
  A part of me wishes she'd stayed, wishes that even though I told her to go, she hadn't. A part of me begged to call her back when I heard the door close, and that same part of me shattered when I heard her bike start and fade.
I would tell her to come back, if I could.
'I was fragile, angry, upset.' I'd say. 'It isn't your fault.'
  But it is. It's her fault all I can do right now is try to ignore the marks and bruises he left and try to pretend it didn't happen, pretend he didn't do what he did and she didn't either.
Pretend it isn't real. Pretend she's here and holding me, talking to me, promising she'd stay.
A part of me also hates her for it. Hates her for intruding on my own thoughts every minute of every day, hates her for building me up and breaking me back down over and over again.
A part of me hates her for leaving. But I look at her, and all I can see is anger and fear. She killed that man, and I know it.
  Yet somehow, another part of me likes her. Likes her for killing him. She saved my fucking life and took his in the process. I know now that he won't be able to try that on any other girl ever again.
And somehow I blame Madison for letting me go, even though I had forced her to in the first place.