Hamilton one-shots (requests are open)

John's suicide attempt -Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens (Lams angst ver 2)

I didn't want to make you people too sad so here's version 2.

-John's pov-

I was shaking as I finished my suicide note. I can't believe I'm doing this, I thought to myself.

"I'm so sorry Alex...I'm so sorry everyone!" I take a shaky deep breath before looking at my gun and picking it up.

I point the gun at my head and...

-Alex's Pov-

I happily walked up to my boyfriend's door and knocked. I hope he won't mind my surprise visit, We haven't seen each other in a few days I missed him, and I hope he missed me too.

I've been waiting for a few minutes now and I've gotten no answer. "Maybe he's asleep, he hasn't been getting enough sleep recently." I say to myself.

To be honest I'm a bit worried about John, mostly because he hasn't been getting enough sleep.

I knocked on the door again, if he is asleep and my knocking wakes him up I'll feel bad.

I wait for a few minutes again and still no answer.

"John is a light sleeper so normally the smallest of noises wakes him up..." I mumble to myself, I was starting to get worried, so worried that I decided to invite myself into his house.

I open his front door. "I'm sure he won't mind if I just invite myself in right?"

I walk into his house.

My first stop was his bedroom, I walk upstairs to his bedroom and lightly knock on the door. "Hey, babe are you asleep?" I say softly, if I do wake him up I can just help him fall back to sleep.

I decide instead of waiting for a reply I should just go in and that's what I did.

I opened the door to his bedroom and my heart dropped when I saw John, he was pointing a gun at his head.

"John no!" I scream at him.

-John's Pov-

I was about to pull the trigger when I heard, "John no!"

I quickly turn around and when I saw who was at my door I dropped my gun. "A-Alex..." I whisper.

Alex quickly runs up to me and hugs me tightly saying. "Oh my god John, what were you thinking!"

"I...I'm sorry!" I tear up and hug him back.

He pulls away from the hug and looks at me with tears in his eyes. "Shh...it's okay, it's going to be okay." He says softly.

I wrap my arms over his neck and I bury my face into his shoulder.

-Alex's pov-

John wraps his arms over my neck and buried his face into my shoulder, I then wrap my arms around his waist and pull him slightly closer to me.

We stay like that for a few minutes, until I hear quiet sobs.

"John, love look at me..." I whisper softly in his ear, he looks at me for a second before looking away. I cup his cheek, "Baby, please look at me..." I beg.

He sighs before looking at me, I softly kiss him.

-John's Pov-

I was letting out quiet sobs into Alex's shoulder until I heard him whispering softly in my ear. "John, love look at me..."

I look at him for a second before looking away, I felt ashamed, he deserves a lover who won't try to take their own life, he deserves a lover who isn't autistic and weird, he deserves Eliza, he should've never chosen me, he should've chosen her.

I feel Alex cup my cheek. "Baby, please look at me..." he begs.

I sigh before looking at him, he softly kisses me.

I want to kiss him back I really do, but instead, I pull away immediately.

"John, what's wrong?" He asks in a worried tone of voice.

"Alex, you deserve better..." I say softly.

-Alex's Pov-

"John, what's wrong?" I ask in a worried tone of voice, did I do something wrong, he normally never pulls away that quickly.

"Alex, you deserve better..." He says softly.

"Oh, babe don't ever say that..." I softly say to him.

"But Alex it's true you deserve so much better, you deserve a lover who won't try to take their own life!" He pretty much yelled that to me.

"Babe-" I try to interpret him but he doesn't let me.

"No Alexander, you deserve a lover who isn't autistic and weird!"

"Love-" I try to interpret him again, but like last time he doesn't let me.

"You deserve Eliza, you should've never chosen me, you should've chosen-" before he could finish I kissed him, he tries to pull away but I don't let him, he quickly gives up and kisses me back.

-John's Pov-

"You deserve Eliza, you should've never chosen me, you should've chosen-" before I could finish Alex kisses me, I try to pull away but he doesn't let me, I quickly give up and kiss him back.

He wraps his arms around my waist again and pulls me closer to deepen the kiss, I wrap my arms over his neck.

We kiss until we need to pull away for air.

"Remember what I told you when we first started dating?"

I sigh before saying. "I'm the only one you want, you don't want Angelica, you don't want Eliza, you don't want Maria, you only want me..."

Alex chuckles and smiles. "Exactly!"

I can't help but smile too, if I killed myself, I would miss his cute smile.

"There's that cute smile of yours." he says before kissing me.

I kiss him back, I would also miss kissing him.

I think I prefer this ending to the version 1 ending.

Words: 934