South Park Oneshots

🌼Kenny & Cartman🌼

No ships in this one, just them hanging out.  This is based off the new episode, Dikimble's hotdogs. (I forgot the name)

Kenny and Cartman were just sitting at a table at Dikinbaus Hotdogs. Butters was working his ass off, trying to give everyone their hotdogs on time. "Hey, Kenny?"

"Mphm?" (Yeah?)

"Uhhh do you wanna go shopping with our new money?  since your poor and all..."

"Mpmh mhhh!!" (Fuck yeahh!!)

"Kewl, come on let's go."

They grabbed all their money, and hopped on Cartman's bike. "This looks gay, man. We need to get you a bike." Kenny smiled at cartman's words, he didn't wanna seem gay either. Plus, he needed a bike!
Riding over to the mall, they looked around, seeing all the shit there was to see. Cartman patted Kenny's back, pointing at the apple store. "Let's get you a phone man, so you don't have to use your mom's anymore." Cartman said. Kenny took off his hood, revealing the biggest grin. "Really?!" He said in his squeaky voice. "Fuck yeah dude. I don't want yer mom texting us anymore, drunk and thinking we're her husband." Cartman laughed, Kenny just stood there. "oh, damn yeah she does." They sprinted over to the apple store, instantly looking through all the phones. "How bout this one?" Cartman picked up the newest IPhone, grinning. "Yeah? Yeah??" "Nah man, that's too much." Kenny shook his head, looking down at the one he was holding. "This one."  "Hm, good price, good price.." Cartman grabbed the phone, checking it for any bad things. "If you really want it, sure." "YEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!" Kenny grabs the phone jumping up and down. "Alright let's go pay," Cartman said. They walked over to the register, looking at the tired, 16 year old cashier. "One phone please."     "$730, please."
Cartman took some money from his Terrance & Phillip wallet, putting 500 on the table, Knowing they wouldn't check it. "Thank you, have a nice day." The teen slid over the phone box, and Kenny picked it up. As they left, cartman whispered in Kenny's ear. "i only payed $500." This made Kenny burst out in laughter, realizing how dumb cartman acts. "Yeah, yeah, now let's get that bike!"

They made their way to Gears, the bike shop.  "Which bike?"  "Well let me fucking look before I choose, dumbass."  Kenny waltzed around the bike shop, checking out the Bikes. "Woah."    "What is it, Kinney?"     "Look at this fucker."   He was staring at a black bike, orange details all over the bike.  "Want that one??" Kenny nodded.   "Alright.  You're carrying it."  "I know, I know." Kenny said, waving his hand.   After buying it, they went over to burgerking. "What chu want, Ken?"     "2 original burgers, a sprite, and some fries."   "Good choice. Go get a table for us."   Cartman lined up at the register as Kenny sat down, putting his legs on the table as he set up his new phone. Cartman smiled as he brought the food to the table.    "Hey, thanks man."     "No problemo, Kinney."

"Hey Kenny?"     "Mhm?"
"Uhhhh...do you wanna hang out more? We don't hang out a lot and you're my best friend."     "Yeah, dude. I  miss you."  Both of them smiled, as they started eating their Burger King. "🎶🎵whopper whopper whopper whopper, junior double triple whopper 🎵🎶🎵" Cartman sang, remembering the whole ad as Kenny laughed, secretly videoing him for blackmail. "You some weird creature, man."

"WHAT 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥"

words: 569.   (FUNNY NUMBER 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥)