just some thoughts

Recently

  I know I've said this before, but recently I've been genuinely quite happy.
  The reason I've said it so many times is because I just wasn't not too long ago.
  My freshman year of high school was probably the lowest I've ever been (at least so far). My mental health and self-confidence was basically non-existent. But it's not like that anymore.
  In the past 3 weeks or so, I've actually gone and hung out with friends, something I didn't use to do. Literally yesterday, I went to the beach with one of my best friends and got to meet a bunch of his friends. I hadn't met any of them before, but I had a great time getting to know them, even if it was just a little.
  Before high school, I never spent time with friends outside of school unless it was over Xbox or for special occasions, like a birthday or something.
  It probably seems stupid to get so excited over something so simple, but getting to do those things has been so important to me, and extremely beneficial to my mental health.
  I definitely still have bad days, especially with all of the anti-trans shit going on in the US right now. I mean, I genuinely can't wait to get out of here, but I've been much happier as a whole.

  As a side note, I've really enjoyed doing these little entries every now and again. It's better than just organizing my thoughts to myself and not sharing them. Even if almost nobody sees it, it's great to just share these little moments in my life. Whether it be talking about something that upsets me, or sharing the things that have brought me joy. Like, a good example is today I got the dress that I had ordered about a week or so ago. I'll be getting the shoes I ordered with it soon as well, and on Monday I'm even getting some breast forms! And, the day before yesterday, I shaved my legs with an actual razor. I cut the shit out of my leg, but the sheer euphoria I felt afterwards completely outweighed it.
  I feel like I'm actually making progress. And, to anyone reading this, I hope you are, have, and will too. In whatever you want to make progress in.