Falling for her (GxG)

Chapter 23

23

After a few days, Riccardo, April and Chris finally decided to leave and go back to wherever they came from. Skylar and Audrey refused to leave my side. My mind was going numb with each day that passed, and I still felt Matthew's hands on me.

I wanted them gone, I wanted them to go away. Skylar had to start showering with me because I would scrub my skin so hard just to try and get the feeling of his hands on me to go away.  My wounds had healed, but not the ones inside me.

My nightmares got worse with each day, and with each day I felt myself detaching from the world.

He did this to me.

He made me hate myself.

Even after I asked him to stop he fucking continued.

I can't seem to forget the way his dirty hands racked my body and the silent pleas in my head to make him stop. I can't can't look at myself in the mirror anymore because I'm scared I might see his face breathing down my neck.

I just wanted this nightmare to be over, I wanted to feel again.

I looked at the bottle of pills in my hands as the tears rolled down my eyes. I watched as the water filled the bath tub, the way the water hit the bath tub soothing me a bit. It was melodious, and it made me want to lay in its embrace forever.

I smiled a bit as I realized that this is it, this is the escape I've been waiting for. Maybe if I die, I'll be able to forget this pain.

Skylar and Audrey will cry, but they'll forget me after a few months. Skylar will be able to go back to her company and stop worrying about me and so can Audrey. Once I'm gone, they won't need to worry about me all the time, I'll be like a post memory.

I got into the bath tub full of cold water, and then pushed as much pills as I possibly could down my throat. I didn't didn't care that some of them choked me, because I loved the pain of it. I needed this.

Once the bottle was empty,  I gulped down the remaining pills and swallowed hard and waited.

I started feeling a pain in my chest, followed by dizziness and I was suddenly nauseous. I knew this was it and submerged my head entirely into the water.

I smiled as I realized I won't have to feel that pain anymore. I smiled as I realized that's its finally all over. I smiled as bit realized I won't be having those memories play in my head over and over again.

And I smiled,  when i saw Skylar's panicking face come into view before everything went dark.