Second chances Book 5/6

Chapter 15

Kate is with the girls in her garden, Tilly has fallen asleep on a deckchair, sheltered from the sun under a parasol, she watches the wind play in her hair. Abigail lies on her back in the middle of the pool, telling Kate that ever since she arrived in Los Angeles and discovered the ocean, she can't live without being in the water. Kate, also on a deckchair, reads and reads again the text modified by Tilly and Abigail and since then has spent her time on the phone either calling, answering or texting.

Kate looks at Abigail and can't help but be sad for her and her horrible past, but she finds her so much richer than her emotionally. Kate thinks that Abigail was able to find the people she needed when she needed them most in her life, at every pivotal moment in her life. Tilly, Bethany and Kara, Sean and Shanna. Kate wondered what her role was in Abigail's life. What could she bring her except her friendship? Although she was ready to lend her money to buy her what she wanted, Abigail refused. Kate had offered her friendship and Abigail then came up with something amazing. Tilly. The beautiful Tilly.

Abigail snaps her out of her reverie.

"If someone had told me when I saw you in concert in London that one day you would be a close friend, that I would sleep at your house like you would sleep at my house, I would have had a hard time believing it. I adored you so much before.

— You don't like me anymore?" laughs Kate.

"I was ten or eleven years old when I started watching your videos on social media. Then you break through. I continued to follow you, becoming a real fan. I already adored you when you started, you already had beautiful lyrics and your way of playing the guitar, it was magical. Your music, your texts, how you were on stage, the photos in the magazines. You were beautiful, sulky sometimes, I simply loved you. I followed you on insta, on twitter. I traveled miles to see you in concert, in a complicated family context as you know. Imagine that you meet one of your teenage idols, singer or actor, and that, overnight, you become his best friend. The star-fan relationship explodes. I will cherish the concert at the Hammersmith all my life because it is a whole: you, the legendary hall, London, a decisive moment in my life and then there is you at home, me here, near you to discuss like old friends at the edge of a swimming pool. I no longer see the world famous singer. There's only my friend Kate. You can be rich, have a beautiful house in Beverly Hills. Have fans who follow you everywhere. Having a social status different from mine. To earn in a day what I will earn in a year. Wear clothes from top designers. I only see the human being, my friend. I don't need anything else, just your friendship, your presence, your natural side, unpretentious, the one who runs to get to the kitchen first, the one who is sincerely happy to be with us.

— My friendship is with you, Abigail. You, Tilly, I are friends, really. Nothing superficial, fake, but something sincere.

— So I have that advantage over everyone else," Abigail said, straightening up, hugging Kate before pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Okay, I'm going to call Bethany or else she'll be worried, as well as Shanna."

Kate watches Abigail walk away, wrapping herself in a towel, phone to her ear.

Kate discusses with Kris who takes notes on everything that will have to be planned for the recording before presenting the finished product. She hadn't seen that Tilly was awake and watching her smiling.

"Hi," she said once Kate hung up.

"Hey, Tilly, a little nap feels good, doesn't it?

— I rarely get the chance. I like your house, it's quiet. Come here and sit next to me, there's too much sun for my skin."

Kate joins her as Tilly tells her about the clips, making adjustments. Passing by Abigail who has fallen asleep in the living room, Kate and Tilly go into the studio where together they work on Kate's songs. Suddenly having a flash, Kate interrupts Tilly with a wave of her hand and, digital recorder on, she composes some music, then corrects it with Tilly who, as she plays her last note, comes to hug her from behind, moved, hugging her.

"It's sublime, Kate."

Kate turns to face her and thank her for her insights when she catches Tilly's teary eyes, lips quivering. She had only one desire, to console her. She put a hand to her cheek, about to say some comforting words, but Tilly put her hand over hers and pressed her cheek harder, closing her eyes. Kate gazed at Tilly's delicate lips then moved closer, pressing her own lips to them. Tilly opens her eyes wide, destabilized, then steps back, wiping away the tears that flow and she quickly leaves the studio, going to sit by the pool, her feet in the water, sniffling.

"Excuse me, Tilly," whispers Kate as she settles down next to her. "I don't know what got into me. To see you cry, so sensitive and vulnerable. I suddenly felt like... I beg your pardon, Tilly. You are a beautiful person, you are beautiful inside and out and your spirit is what I love the most. You are exceptional.

— It's me, sorry Kate. I may have sent you signals that were misinterpreted. If so, I apologize. I love Abby. She's the woman of my life. I love you Kate. I love the woman you are, your personality. Yes, you are a beautiful woman, attractive in many ways, but...

— You love Abby and I'm your friend.

— Yes. You know, I would like to get married. We can do it here. But Abby is against marriage, for reasons you can understand given her background. Me, I would like to marry her, just to piss off those who hate homosexuals. We have already come a long way together, traversed what few can imagine, sleeping in gloomy places, having nothing to eat. At first, Abby pushed me away to go home, though her eyes were begging me to stay with her, and the more she pushed me the more I fell in love. She was worried about me, ready to sacrifice herself by walking away alone. We bonded like that. Through what we have been through, we know everything about each other, know how and what each other thinks. Our love is whole.

— Why don't you ask her, Tilly?

— Because she would say yes to please me.

— So you're waiting for her to propose to you?

— I know, it's silly. But it doesn't matter, I'm happy with her. I do everything I can to relieve her sadness, her anger, to appease the demons that populate her sleep, because she shouldn't have to live with these horrors anymore today.

— Is the trauma still there? Does she have nightmares?

— Still, sometimes. She has anxieties. She gets up at night and does sports, to calm down while breathing.

— Abby is lucky to have you in her life. You saved her. Like Bethany and Kara. I don't know what my place is in her life, Tilly, I have nothing to give her.

— You are wrong, Kate. You are an important moment in her life, a fixed point in her existence. You are worth more than you can imagine.

— How so?

— You know life wasn't easy at home with her stepfather. She had found a job as a secretary in an accounting firm, it was not well paid, not the dream job, but she was independent. She had a second job, weekends, as a cashier in a small neighborhood supermarket run by Pakistanis. Her father-in-law was absent on the Saturday evening of the concert, traveling for his work. She knew she would be quiet. She took the train and went to London, alone. She was almost nineteen, and was traveling to London for the first time, and on her own. She had settled down with her job as a cashier. Nothing, absolutely nothing could prevent her from going to see Kate Valentine! You were her idol. It was simply the happiest day of her entire life, without exaggeration. She had never been so happy. The following weekend she ran away, thinking she had killed her stepfather when he wanted to... well, you know. She was alone on the street for seven months before she met me.

— So I counted in her life," cries Kate softly.

— And you still count," Abigail replies, stepping closer, settling on her knees, behind her back, to embrace her. "I was happy, really happy, for the first time in my life seeing you on stage. The following months are only a detail, but a necessity, because then a light entered my life."

Abigail reaches out and Tilly hooks her fingers in it, smiling, her cheeks flushed.

"Kate, for an international artist, I'm surprised," she resumes with a smile, "you have a wise, exemplary, healthy life, I, on the other hand, have a few vices, apart from Tilly. I have an addiction and no matter the cures, I can't stop myself. Can I ask Bethany to come? I need to see her. I miss her."

Kate laugh, expecting the worst, relieved that her drug was just Mama Bear, before massaging her temples, grimacing.

Me too, I need to see Mama Bear.