stuttered words

2.

2. - 2019

When Charles signed to Ferrari, his long-time dream came true. The one he made himself swear he will achieve after Jules' accident. He got approached by the Italian team in the middle of the 2018 season. He had just started to race, and one of the best teams, to ever race in Formula One, wants him, as a driver? Him, Charles Leclerc, a rookie? Of course, he accepted the deal. His contract is signed only for one season, so he must prove himself.

This event, and the sudden interest in his persona after being officially crowned as the second driver of Ferrari, made him forget about Max for a short time. Emphasis on "short". After what he told him at the party, they didn't really talk. Not like they were communicating much more before that, Charles just expected Max to show up somewhere and ask him not to talk about what happened. But it seemed like the Dutch driver doesn't remember it. Maybe he was just drunk. At least this is what Charles thinks.

The months just passed; Max was still shining. He won the Malaysian and the Mexican Grand Prix, and his chances to become a future world champion were growing. before Charles could even notice it, the season ended without any possible chance for him to ask the Dutchman, if the things he said were true. He was hoping to get invited to the usual New Years party Daniel always held, where he would get a chance to finally talk to Max.

His hopes were listened to, and he got an invite. He easily became friends with Daniel, so there was nothing to worry about in the first place. When he arrived, the party was already going great, and the house looked like a bomb had just exploded in it. Daniel sure had something to clean up in the morning. He got a drink, and went to look around the house, but he didn't find Max. After fifteen minutes, he gave up, and thought that if Max wanted to talk to him, he could find him.

Now the thing is; Charles did not grow up in a normal European household, so he never drank as much. in another way, he is awfully lightweight. Around 3 am, just after Lando convinced him to do shots, he felt incredibly dizzy. He went to the backyard to have some fresh air, and clear his mind. After standing there for what felt like an hour, he felt much sober than he was. He decided to head back to the house, but he saw a figure sitting next to the pool.

"He has some weird obsession with sitting next to pools on New Years eve" he thought when he realized it was Max.

- It seems like this is the only place we talk these days. - he approached Max. This time, he wasn't drunk, Charles could see.

Max noticed him but didn't say a word.

Charles sat down next to the blond. A comfortable silence hung around them, as the older was swinging his feet in the warmth of the pool.

- Do you... - started Max- remember what I said a year ago? - He didn't dare to look at Charles; as if he was hoping, he'd say no, and they could forget about all of this.

- I do -Charles stated- I just thought you didn't.

- I wasn't as drunk as you might have thought I was. It was kind of a hard time for me, and I didn't talk about it with anyone, so it kind of fell out. You might have expected me to ask this from you earlier, but can you not tell anyone? I've been keeping it for my whole life, and I really don't want to hear this back from anyone.

- Max.

- It's not right, so- Max started to clatter.

- Max, hey. - Charles interrupted - I never told anyone. I'm not that kind of person. You should know that. How did you find out?

- Yeah, now that's something I really don't want to talk about. It's bad.

- You know there is nothing wrong with being gay, right?

- Well, my father always told me not to be one. I guess I grew up in this atmosphere, so I do think that yeah. I'm not homophobic, or anything, but I always wished this was just a dream, and I will have a girl crush again.

- Max, there is nothing wrong with being attracted to your own gender. It doesn't make you a worse person. You are one of the best people I have ever met. Look at me, I'm the same, I was before I found out! I didn't change just because I have a crush on y-

Silence.

- You... are not straight?

Shit. Charles had never meant to come out to Max. He had never meant to almost confess to him.

-Yes -I -I have to go. - he stood up, not minding Max, who sat there frozen, seemingly not able to accommodate the information.

He left the party. He drove home, and he couldn't not keep thinking about the look on Max's face when he found out. He looked surprised... but kind of happy? It seemed like he wanted to say something, but then Charles left. Look at them. They're pathetic. They keep running away from each other, like they're scared of one another. He will make it up to him, soon. He is happy though because their relationship outside the track is getting better.

Max can talk to Charles about anything, and Charles finds comfort in Max.

The only thing which wasn't clear to him in the beginning, is that Max has a girlfriend. Maybe he wanted to make sure people thought he was straight. Or his dad. Charles really, honestly, hated Max's father from his heart. The things he did to his own son. He felt pity for Max even when they were little.
He will ask Max about his girlfriend tho. Not like he cares, but like a friend right? That makes sense.

He knows that he could never be Max's interest, and by interest, he means love. The Dutchman already told him, that he has a crush. Charles can be happy with being friends. He hopes so.

Can he?