This is Freelancer Fiend, log entry 7
the camera pans over a canyon, with a base on either side, as Fiend monologues
Fiend: its been about 2 months since I first came to Blood Gulch, and I'm gunna be real, its been shit
the camera pans over to one of the bases, where a Maroon soldier and an Orange soldier are conversing. the camera, however, is too far away to hear what they're saying
Fiend: its always hot here, which I guess reminds me of home. but the soldiers I'm meant to be helping fucking suck. the teams leader, who goes by Sarge for some reason, is constantly berating his lowest rank, Grif. I don't even know how he was promoted to this position. the second in command, Simmons, is a total bot. he follows orders no matter what- even if those orders are downright terrible! for lack of a better term, he's a total kiss ass! and then there's Grif. Grif is a fat pig who doesn't follow a single order. I'm starting to understand why they're struggling so much
the camera then pans over to one of the corners of the canyon, where Fiend, a man in Black, Red and Purple armor, is stood
Fiend: one thing is for sure though. once I'm done here, I'm never setting foot in another box canyon ever-
a gruff voice then calls out
???: LADIES! front and center on the double!
Fiend sighs
Fiend: and that's Sarge, I better get over there. end log
Fiend taps the side of his helmet before walking over to the front of Red Base, where Sarge, Grif and Simmons are standing. Sarge (the red one) yells at everyone
Sarge: hurry up ladies! this ain't no ice cream social
Grif: ice cream social?
Grif (the orange one) and Simmons (the Maroon one) exchange looks, just as Fiend walks over
Fiend: who's having an ice cream social now?
Sarge: cut the pillow talk. anyone want to guess why I gathered you all here today?
Fiend: because we've been fired?
Sarge: no
Simmons: you're promoting one of us?
Sarge: no!
Grif: uh... the wars over and we get to go home?
Sarge: that's exactly right, private. war's over. we won. turns out you're the big hero and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, Fiend here will be singing a song about your heroism! and Simmons here, IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!
Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir
Sarge: damnit Grif! shut your mouth! or I'll have Simmons slit your throat in your sleep!
Simmons: oh and I'd do it too
Fiend whispers
Fiend: fucking savages
Sarge: somethin' to add, Fiend?
Fiend: uh, no?
Sarge: I thought so. I get that you think you're "all better than us" and whatever. but as long as we're payin' you, and as long as you're here, you better listen to me, and respect me! do I make myself clear?
Fiend sighs
Fiend: yes, sir
Sarge: that's more like it. now as I was saying, I got a couple things on the agenda. first of all, Command has decided to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number One
YOU ARE READING
Fiend-205: Red vs Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles
Humorwe should be fairly familiar as to how the Fiend-205 universe works. Jedi, Sith, Spartans, Demons, Forerunners, Flood, a multitude of beings with immense power. but what if that wasn't the case? what if the events of Halo were different? what if the...
