Hearts Desire [Sam Kiszka]

3.

I eventually dozed off until about 7. A little later than I normally wake up but I didn't mind since I barely slept. I was all alone in the living room, assuming everyone else would be sleeping in late. I looked around for my bag, wanted to freshen up. I stood up, testing my ankle, and seeing that it felt fine now.

I searched the common rooms, then opened Josh and Jake's room, who were both sleeping soundly, but to no avail.

There's no way it's in Dannys room, and that left one space— Samuels room.

I was weary on if I should knock and risk waking him up, or just enter and have him be awake already, and deal with that discomfort.

Before I can decide, I'm already turning the handle. Samuel looked asleep, so that's good. I searched around before seeing the door to his private bathroom. I see my bag on the ground inside and rush over to grab it.

"Do you always enter without knocking?"

"Samuel!" I jump, startled.

"Sam." He corrects.

"Josh must've put my bag in here. It's the closest bathroom." I explain.

He was sitting up, bottom-half still under the white bedsheets, shirtless with tousled hair. He rubbed his eyes in his somnolent state.

"Mhm. Sure." He teases.

"Look, I just need to brush my teeth. I'll be like 10 minutes."

"Takes you 10 minutes to brush your teeth?" He exasperates.

"Shut up." I shut the door behind me.

***

"Who wants some?" Josh held up a bottle of Whiskey. A string of yes's followed as he poured out five glasses.

He brought them over in pairs, first handing them to Danny and I.

"Thank you." I nod, sipping the glass.

The boys didn't need alcohol, as they were already rowdy enough without it. However, I felt like I needed it sometimes when dealing with all four of them. They could be a lot to handle without something to take the edge off sometimes.

After everyone had a couple of glasses (besides me, who's still on my first), the boys had become even more obstreperous. Danny was banging a rhythm on the coffee table, Josh and Jake were both singing obnoxiously, and Samuel was dancing around amusingly. I was sat on the couch laughing at the four madmen. It was impossible to not be happy around them when they were like this. It was always so entertaining.

Once a while had passed, and we had all calmed slightly, Jake and Josh announced their departure and headed to sleep, while Danny and Samuel had stayed in the living room with me. We were all talking, of course with the occasional snide remark between Samuel and I. The alcohol in our systems clouded all of our judgements, so we were having a nice time for the most part.

That was until the lights above us flicked momentarily before shutting off completely.

"You gotta be kidding." Samuel huffed.

"That's my cue. I'm going to bed before it gets freezing in here. Night." Danny hopped up from his spot on the floor.

A few moments of awkward silence pass, wondering if Samuel will leave, or if the two of us will try to hang out, and not have an attitude with one another.

"I'm in the mood for another drink. You?" He stands up, waving his empty glass.

"Uh, sure." I say, almost like a question.

"Y'know, when I'm nice, you don't have to be so shocked." His speech is slightly slurred, but he's still cognizant.

"Of course I do, Samuel-"

"Sam." He interrupts.

"Don't you remember our dynamic when we first met?"

"Yeah, we've always just teased each other." He grabs the alcohol, pouring more into his glass.

"No." I state.

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"When we first met, you were immediately rude to me. I tried to be nice, for Josh and Jake's sake. But after so much ridicule, I had to defend myself. I really liked you in the beginning. But you just kept acting like an asshole." I snatched up the bottle, drinking straight from it.

I had never told Samuel any of it, but to be fair, I thought that was common knowledge between everyone-- that he just didn't like me. To hear him say that just 'how we always were' was hurtful.

"Marigold, I-"

"Goldie."

He sighs, "Goldie. I never knew that. I- I'm sorry.. I feel like an ass."

"Well, if the shoe fits."

"Sleep in my bed."

"Excuse me?" I exasperate.

"It's the least I can do. That couch does suck, and my bed is comfy. I'll stay out here."