Diabolus: The Lethal Hunt

Chapter Eighteen

LEXI SPENCER

    Every morning, I wake up to the same routine - the same routine I've been following for what feels like an eternity. The world around me moves at a breakneck pace, but for me, time seems to stand still. It's as if the clock stopped ticking on the day I lost my baby.

    Every day feels like a replay of that fateful moment. The sky is still gray, the air is still heavy, and the weight of grief still hangs over me. It's as if I'm suspended in limbo, unable to move forward or backward.

    "Here."

    Jesse hands me a heavy set of binoculars as it's my time to investigate the inside of the house. Without taking a look into the inky depths of his eyes, I place the binoculars by my face and take a look at Beverly, her eyes running around the kitchen of Ben's house.

    But my mind keeps shifting back to that fateful day. And Aaron.

    I can still see the pain in his eyes when he found out what I did. As if I felt his heart breaking. I stare into the abyss of my thoughts, asking myself the same question over and over again: Why am I like this? It feels as if I was lost in a maze, with no clear path to follow. The answer eluded me, slipping through my fingers like sand. Maybe it's how my life is supposed to be.

    Always in grief. Always in pain.

    "I thought we came here to find their father. Who is the old lady?"

    "You ask me like I knew the answer. That's annoying."

    "Let me tell you, you're easily annoyed."

    As much as I try to deny it, his voice is soothing as much as it's tempting. Low, silent words escape his lips, embracing you like a blanket of peace. I hesitate to look at him, to let him into my thoughts and into my life; and it's not the fact that I barely know him.

    I don't want to hurt him like I hurt the others.

    He had been nothing but kind to me since they all returned a month ago. His words had been a balm to my wounded soul when Aaron found out the truth. He stayed up with me all night, making sure that I was okay and that I didn't do anything reckless or foolish.

    But despite all of this, I can't bring myself to trust him fully. There is something about him that makes me hesitate, that makes me cautious that he's just another person that I would hurt.

    "Maybe you should keep your distance, then."

    "Not a chance."

    I can feel his gaze on me, piercing through me like a hot knife through butter. I try to distract myself by focusing on the house, on the inch-short distance between us, anything to avoid his penetrating stare. But it's no use. The quantity of my thoughts seems to explode inside my head, shattering like glass and leaving tiny pieces behind, creating a mess. Thoughts of Aaron, the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, now seemed impossible.

    "Did you talk to Aaron?"

    His question hits me like a sudden gust of wind, knocking me off balance and stealing my breath away. I spin around to face him, feeling as though I'm drowning in the depths of the ink that is his eyes. But as I stare into those mesmerizing orbs, I realize there's no malice or anger there - just warmth and sincerity.

    "No."

    "Why not?"

    "Don't you think it's none of your business?"

    "I don't. So, why not?"

    As he begins to ask his probing questions, I can't help but feel a chill run down my spine. There's something about the ease with which he delves into my innermost thoughts and emotions that makes me feel exposed, vulnerable. Yet at the same time, there's a strange sense of comfort in his inquiries, as if he knows me better than anyone else ever could.