Epiphany ⇢ ❛𝘈 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.❜
❝And even on nights when the dark becomes sticky like tar, when I wish for something to swallow me whole so I don't have to wake up the next day, I still think of you...
For the girl who cannot stay alone with her thoughts because The fear of them Swallowing her whole Still haunts her at night
I remember meeting you the first time, It was short, sweet, we exchanged how are you's and isn't the weather just Horrible today? But I always wished more was said, that our words were more soul-deep, That you kept me in your company longer, Maybe it was just desperation, but sometimes I felt like I was just another apple In your basket
Now that I look back, I tilt my head and laugh at the feeling, You were everything I've ever wanted to be, Bright smiles and a pleasant voice, people loved to be Around you. You, you, you, You had been a far-away dream for someone like me, like droplets of rain that fell past my fingers, or like the pitter-patter against window panes, Something I could only live with in the moment, someone I could watch for a second
You were like strands of silver woven into pretty threads, I'd even take up embroidery just to take the stars in the sky and spin them into something that was worth Your attention
But you Are just human, After all
And maybe that made me adore you even More It was comforting, really, because knowing you pick apart your thoughts Like me And lull yourself to sleep on nights when the dark gets sticky like tar Like me Made me believe that you & I aren't all that different, That I can look at you without feeling my eyes Burn (From the brilliance of your grins)
And maybe, I could... I could, I could, I could, I could have done a lot of things when you seemed more Human to me, Like tell you that I Like your company,
That when you laugh at your own jokes And tell stories that last Lifetime Was what I looked forward to when I woke up at Noon
I didn't, though
My words were always tangled and knotted, my thoughts were much worse, It felt like I had a lot to say but No one
Was listening
I remember watching you, All crinkled eyes and the kind of laughter that left you Breathless, And I thought, Oh, isn't it just lovely feeling alive like that? Isn't it lovely, lovely, lovely, All these jumbled-up thoughts Like a maelstrom in my head, Whilst it seemed you were Having the time Of your life.
Maybe it was self-sabotage, that's what they call it now, isn't it? When you want something, But you feel as if you don't Deserve it So you ruin it before it can ever Ruin you.
I'd avoid you, Pretend to look the other way when I felt like I was just another item in your catalogue, That it didn't bother me when you Looked at me with wary eyes, when I closed my eyes just to drown out all the Noise
I don't do that anymore, and You know this, Because I am Selfish, horrible and self-centred, I want this world to be revolved Around me (it doesn't) Because the world that I want revolved around me Is you
I am still terrible, I still keep things that aren't mine, Like inky pens I find in classrooms, Or pretty leaves on pavements, But I am lovelier, I smile at strangers and pick rubbish off roads, I say thank-you to drivers that let me go past
I do, I do, I do,
You know this, too, All whilst I felt you didn't give me The light of day, You knew, you know, You were always like that, Noticing the little things, I didn't like that about you at first, It felt like pieces of me were stripped away That you stole them from me, but that was the same Self-sabotage that ruined me I've learnt to appreciate it
I remember a lot of things, did you know? They clutter my head, it is littered with scenes Of you I hope you realise I've always had a lot to say when It came to you Please remember that this would be Eons long if it wasn't for the Cramp in my hand (I've always had problems with my bones)
But, you understand, don't you? You are Lovely, lovely, lovely, Like the first ray of sun at daybreak, like morning dew, Like the shine of raindrops on a spider's web, All the little, pretty things I've adored since I was a child
You may find it hard to breathe with your thoughts at night But you have a fool that is writing poetry About you Isn't that a testament that people can learn how to breathe Underwater?
➽─────────❥
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Most of my poetry is based on my stories and characters (their storylines, emotions, relationships etc) but this one...oh my days the reason it's so painstakingly long is because it's wholly mine and the words are feelings bled onto paper, literally (it might have been longer if it I didn't stop myself lmao) I hope it wasn't too much of a bother to read <3
