I'm Scared of Heights | ONC 2023 ✔️

11) Explained Gravity

Winn

I always wanted to fly.

I wanted to soar through the skies like a superhero out of a comic or Peter Pan. I imagined draping a cape around my shoulders and spiraling through the air. I wanted to overlook the buildings below and be amazed at the sight. I wanted to feel the wind rustling my sleeves and whipping my hair in its wake. It would be fun. Flying would be fun. Who wouldn't want to fly? That question seemed ridiculous then.

That was until Mom took me to the Big Apple on one of her business trips.

I remember how she grinned as we rode up in the glass elevator. I pressed my cheeks against the glass for a quarter of the ride. I was the first of the lift, dragging Mom behind me as she shot nine others with an apologetic glance. I can see the view in my mind's eyes. The tips of gray-colored buildings, erected stick straight like the trees in our fellow Carolina. Beams of light overtook the cloud-covered day, dotting the building below with speckles of light. I felt like I was flying on the 86th floor. It was the closest I had ever come to flying.

Then, I looked down.

Mom explained "gravity" to me on the plane flight over. Six years into life, the thought wedged itself into the hole of my mind, bleeping out my amazement and darkening the scene into a gray overcast.

I could fall from here at the same speed as a rubber ball.

Even knowing a metal cage wrapped around the top and concrete that stood not far away, the pit of my stomach dropped. What if the glass cracked? I took a step back. What if the entire building crumbled? I retreated to the elevator where Mom stood, tentatively edging to the window. On the journey to the ground floor, I kept my eyes sealed.

Flying means something different now.

Flying is an abstract concept my brain tentacles can't grasp. Because flying can mean all sorts of things. There's the physical apparition that we only dream about. And ideas float around our heads, only visible to us. Then there's the kind where you aren't moving. You're standing still, maybe at the top of the world, realizing how small and fragile you are. But every time, you're still flying, you feel like your flying.

Fingers snap in front of my face, names blur, and all I can remember about her is that her cat died two weeks ago, she hates hotdogs, and she wants to be a vet. "Earth to Winn!" the girl exclaims, rolling her eyes. "As I was saying." She, Chloe, I believe, clears her throat. "Did you know that Ted got engaged to Mable? I mean, Aaron kind of deserved the kick to his ego."

I rub my brow, attempting to reel myself back in. Chloe's tale about Addy falling off a ladder and breaking her arm stays pinned in my mind. Snap. Where's my head right now?

"Catch y'all later!" I do a double thumbs up, moving tables as my seniority privileges allow.

My eyes flop over the crowd of mostly science sophomore and junior classes mixed with random bunches of other seniors and globs of freshmen dodging annoyed stares. Grinning, a fellow senior flags me down when we catch eyes, I raise my palm. "What's hopping, guys?"

There's a chorus of muffled replies that bounce off my eardrums. The same said Aaron mentioned at the gossip group slaps my palm. "Aye, we're all headed to the fair today. You wanna come?" Aaron asks, flashing a pearly smile.

I shrug, combing over my, for once, unpacked evening. "Yeah, sounds great. What time?" My eyes dash to every person at the table, readily putting names to the faces and pinning people with tidbits of info. Again, Ted is missing from this culmination of all-stars. Did he skip, or is he with Mable? God, the drama this year is enough to literally sink a dog-gone boat.