𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 (Ash Trilogy #3) ✔️

18

The candle on the table burns slowly. The bright sun lights up my room, and the fact that my window was cracked open brings in a breeze and the sound of birds chirping. 

Snow and I decided this morning to finally finish our essay that's due soon. And by Snow and I, I mean Snow. She knocked on my door at 9 am and barged in, then complained that I only have black coffee.

My eyebrows lower as she shuts her laptop and begins putting it into her tote bag. I glance at the candle and see that it's not burnt yet. 

"Where the hell are you going?" I ask as she stands up. She puts her bag around her shoulder and turns to look at me. 

"There's a blood drive. One for Marcel, it has the message of 'we lost a life, but can still save lives,'" she says, a little bit awkwardly since she still doesn't know how to talk about him dying yet. "I'm going with a few of our mutual friends."

I just nod and tap my pen against my paper. I don't have too many words to say about the man I killed.

"But, tomorrow morning, we are finishing this essay in the library," she basically demands. "Meet me in the library at.....8 am. Okay, who am I kidding, 10 am."

She begins walking out of my room, and says over her shoulder, "And make sure to bring me an iced coffee!"

"I'm not going to-"

"Thanks, Luc you're the best!" she cuts me off and says quickly, shutting the door afterward so that I can't argue about it.

I roll my eyes to myself. 

I stand up and walk over to my black coffee, taking a sip of it while the breeze blows my hair back. 

I have her parent's work hours for today written down. April is off at 5 pm. Her father isn't off until 9 pm. I find myself willing to do anything to get the full story of what happened to Snow when she was a child. Even though my plan is fucked up, it's invasive, and it only continues to prove that I'm not a good person, I plan to do it anyway. 

After last night, I know that my story with Snow is real. It's not something I've fabricated in my head and tell myself lies about, filling this diary with a story going nowhere. I can feel phantom kisses, taking me back to last night with Snow all over again. 

My phone rings. I don't recognize the number, but I answer anyway.

"Hello, Lucien Ash? Yes, this is Misses Milner, from the university," a woman I have never spoken to in my life says through the phone. "I'm calling to let you know that your grades have dropped tremendously over this semester. I am one of the many school counselors and was wondering if you could come in next week to talk about it."

I've been aware that my grades are slipping. But I've had more important things to worry about, particularly a girl whose name begins with S.

"No thanks-"

She cuts me off with a fake laugh, "I'm sorry but actually you are required to come in. How is next Thursday?"

"Ok fine, whatever," I mutter before hanging up.

Ever since my appointment with Dr. Levigne, I've had a resentment toward any therapists or counselors. My jaw still clenches when I hear her voice in my head telling me that I'm sick, when I'm not. 

What I'm doing, what I have planned, doesn't make me sick. It makes me willing to do anything for this girl. 

Even if this plan itself is sick.

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

At 5:30 pm, I leave for April's house. But I don't take my own car this time, I don't want to risk her being able to see it. I take the bus and then go on foot.