Tonight, I'm feeling more positive than usual. Everytime I see him my heart breaks but the "therapy" I've been having. Constantly being positive, having my mind off of him, paying attention in school and most importantly giving the people I love my attention to them because they are the ones that deserve it.
I just have to avoid him. It's when I'm most strong. I can live without him but I can't live next to him. It irritates me whenever I see them together. And I just wanna get out and go somewhere else. But that's impossible. Hmph, I just hate how I knew this was gonna happen. But hey
There's still my whole life ahead of me. Still gotta finish high school, still gotta start high school. By my senior year I won't even rememeber how he would look like. I'll be so focused in school. Jennifer is my only inspiration to moving on. As in, giving me the strength to put all my efforts into school and getting good grades and actaully doing what I'm supposed to be doing at this age. Studying.
I really think I can do this.
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I'll be in college at New York with you and we'll have the apartments together and we'll go to the grocery store together and shop together and I'll even buy you shirts and suits and just have fun together. I'll have you by my side. Since that's what you say. (: we'll go to the mall together, walk at 1:00 AM in the city just us talking about life. We'll have the bestest of times. Laughin everyday, then one day we'll have a fight and I'll get pissed off and then we won't talk for days. Eventually I'll break, so I'll wait for you to come back to your apartment and I'll be sitting next to your door waiting for you and when you come I'll hug you so tight and never leave you again. We'll have the best of times.
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Im proud to actaully say I've changed. Because it only tells me, I'm "experienced" and I know things I didn't know before. I'm happy that things have changed because now I can be more careful and know what people are good for my life and what people are not good.
"I'll do whatever is good for me no matter how I feel"
This is a quote have I have to learn to follow because it's a very good quote. I have to use it.
There's more to life than being sad all the time.
Life is too short to be anything but happy.
There is more to life than just worrying about him all the time if he's not even in your life anymore and NOT WORTH IT. Pay attention, love and live your life. You only get one.
