I think so much, I don't even know how many different things I think about or how much I think a day. Sometimes I think so much that I completely forget I'm 14. Sometimes I think so fast that I forget that we are in the middle of summer and I'm already thinking about where I'm going to go in the first day of school. I focus so much on the future and it's funny how I tell everyone to live in the moment and stop worrying about the future or the past. I have been thinking so much about the future now it's almost impossible to think about the present and let things settle in.
I'm so focused on growing up and what would happen after I grew up. When I'm alone all I do is over think and try to plan out every aspect of my life. When I do I put myself in the worst positions I could possibly think off. But when I'm entertained or distracted man do I enjoy those moments, away from my over thinking head.
I've realized how unhealthy this is for me. How bad it is to always keep my head suck in the future and worrying and trying to control everything that's gonna happen. I just want to have a day where I can relax and I won't have to worry about anything. It's so hard to stick my nose out of the future. Ever since summer started it's been nothing but over think and over think and over think. Tomorrow I'm going to the beach, I'm so happy to be going with my parents and my uncle and aunt. If they come then all the attention is off me and i get to have a beach day all to myself and enjoy my surroundings. If I were to go alone just with my parents then I'd have to talk to em and pretend to be happy. If they go then I can be on my own and try to get myself together.
This could be the only chance I got to actually getting myself together and I really want this to work. Something to get me back to earth and put the advice I've given everyone and put it to good use and use the advice myself. I just hope tomorrow goes well..
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I went to the beach and it was pretty good, I got to swim and then something scratched me that's nice gave me a reason not to go to the beach anymore, I went to a restaurant and I drank like a slushy it was real good, then after that I ate a burger and it was great as well, later i got those Starbucks drinks that is like ready to go. We went back to the beach and I read part of my book and I fell asleep but it was great, a great moment to just doze off and relax. It was a good day.
