my very last breath || ellie williams (book two)

IV

Once I'd found my spot, I laid myself down on my stomach and pulled my rifle from over my shoulder. Positioning my elbows in front of me, I checked the scope before dusting it off with my finger. I checked again, looking around the courtyard to find Ellie who gave me a little thumbs up once she was in my sights. I smiled softly, reloading before attaching my silencer. It was now or never.

I took a deep breath, surveying the area before beginning to silently take out the stragglers on the outside. I always started with the outside when doing big jobs like these. You wanted to take out the ones on outside first so as to not attract too much attention. When most of them were dead, you worked your way to the inside. Tommy had taught me all the tricks in the book, even claiming that I was better than him with a rifle. He was being humble.

I examined our trail of bodies as Ellie stabbed the final guy in the side of the neck and slowly lowered his body to the ground. She darted into the building ahead, immediately exploring for Abby before I'd even had a chance to exhale. I gathered my things, hopping down to the balcony to follow along in her tracks.

"Ellie?" I called out, jogging towards where I'd seen her enter the building.

Gunshots began to sound in the silence as footsteps pounded on the ground. I quickly lunged behind a fallen bookshelf, pulling my pistol from its holster and reloading quickly. I peered around the corner as a group of dishevelled prisoners congregated in the lobby. I held my arms up as I approached them slowly.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for someone..." I began.

A woman immediately spun around and pointed her gun at me, studying me slowly with squinted eyes.

"Don't come any closer," She growled, stepping back slightly as she aimed at me, "I won't hesitate to blow your fucking face off."

"Don't you point that fucking thing at her!" Ellie yelled from behind me, slowly approaching with her gun pointed forwards, "Where's Abby?"

"Hey, hey..." A man eased, pushing to the front of his group, "Abby tried to escape. She's on the pillars."

Ellie nodded, pushing me behind her back to shield me as we inched past them and ran towards the exit. As we began to jog down the stone steps, Ellie stopped in her tracks and turned to me. She held her side as she panted, holding out her other hand to cup my face gently. Brushing her thumb along my cheek, she smiled tiredly before leaning in to press a soft kiss to my cheek.

"Charlotte..." She began, "I have to do this on my own."

I nodded slowly, chewing on my lower lip as I began to examine our surroundings. Loud gunshots blared from the building we'd emerged from, fires roaring out of open windows.

"Okay," I smiled wearily, "You go. If you're not back in half an hour, I'm coming down there. You meet me by the boat, okay?"

She nodded in response and continued down the steps. I stayed where I was until she'd left my sight. I couldn't help but think I'd made a mistake letting her go on on her own - but she'd insist. Or she'd get angry and I couldn't cope with that. I understood what this meant for her, I understood why she didn't want me there even if I didn't agree.

I took a deep breath before spinning on my heels, jogging around the perimeter of the building and keeping my pace quick until I was as far away from the resort as possible. Continuing to scan my surroundings, everything felt like a blur. It was as if I couldn't even recognise my surroundings, as if I hadn't been pacing these very streets just hours before.

My heart raced as I zigzagged for the steps to the beach, almost losing my footing as I skipped two steps at a time. When I reached the beach, my feet sank into the sand as I ran. I tripped forward, my hands digging into the ground and my breath jolting. Remaining on the floor, I gripped my chest as I struggled for my breath. It was only then that I realised the tears streaming down my face.

It felt like it was never going to end. This whole revenge storyline. It was only then, covered in sand and sweat and blood that I realised just how exhausted I was. I couldn't keep chasing Ellie from city to city, chasing relief from a feeling she was never going to be able to relieve. Laying back in the sand, I cried into the abyss. I cried for myself, I friend for her, and Joel, and Jesse, and my father. I cried for all the people I fought so hard to save but couldn't.

It was never going to end. I was going to continue to lose people time and time again and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I resented the world I was born into, grieved the life I could've had. How I could miss something I'd never experienced was beyond what I could even comprehend. I was tired, delirious, slightly existential. And I continued to be so until the ground hardened beneath me as gentle rain drops began to fall from the dark sky.

Pulling myself to a seated position, I let the rain trickle through my hair, down my face and chest. I smiled softly, looking to the sky and taking a deep breath. I let the air fill my lungs slowly before exhaling, grounding myself as best I could before pulling myself to my feet. Making for the boat, I climbed aboard and threw my bag down in the room below deck. I crashed on to the bed, covering my face with my hands before running my fingers through my hair.

I tried not to think about Ellie and what she might be doing. I tried not to envision her face down in the ocean somewhere, Abby having got the best of her after all. Shaking my head, I stood up once more and began to survey the map on the desk. Getting home wasn't going to be easy but I was hoping that perhaps we could enjoy the journey home a little more. Maybe explore the country a bit before heading back.

I hoped Ellie would get the relief she needed, that she'd be able to breathe again for the first time since Joel died. I wanted to show her how beautiful the world is, how much there still is out there for us to discover. I wanted to make her smile again like she used to. It wasn't a want, but a need. I needed to make her fall in love with life again, even if it wasn't going to be easy.