my very last breath || ellie williams (book two)

V

Ellie dragged her feet as she shuffled along the beach, a trail in the sand left behind by her tired footsteps. She gripped her side, staring blankly at the ground as she hauled herself forwards. I threw myself to my feet, almost tripping on the unstable ground as I darted towards her. Throwing my arms around her, she collapsed into me sending us both falling to the ground. She let out a throaty screech, her fingers desperately clawing into me as she rocked back and forth.

Ellie didn't say a word, just sobbed into my chest as we rocked gently from side to side. I ran my fingers through her hair. Tears began to well in my eyes as we knelt on the beach, gentle drops of rain falling from the abyss. Cold droplets ran through my hair, rolling down my cheeks before falling off my chin. I didn't even realise I was crying until I tasted the salt on my lips. We sat there on that beach for what felt like an eternity. None of us saying a word. We allowed ourselves to be enveloped by the cold rain and Santa Barbara's nighttime chill. It almost made you forget how warm it was during the day.

When I finally found the strength to pull myself to my feet, I carefully helped Ellie to hers and began to carry her towards the boat. I laid her on the bed below deck, sliding off her shoes before twisting her limp body on to the mattress. Pulling the sheets over her, I tucked them under her torso before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"We're gonna go home, okay?" I whimpered.

Ellie didn't respond. She remained perfectly still, blankly staring at the ceiling until I'd left. I chose not to pry, instead heading upstairs to begin setting off. I unhooked the rope from the pier, pushing the boat back out before climbing back on. Starting up the generator, I heard the boat roar to life. The fuel was low. There was only so far it'd take us, but my only concern was getting away from Santa Barbara. I'd figure out the rest when I had to.

We travelled through the night. I felt myself falling asleep at the wheel every now and then, only springing back to life when my chin hit my chest. By the time the sun was rising, I'd hit land again and parked up. The fuel was empty. The boat wasn't going to take us any further. Our journey home was going to have to be through other means.

Swinging open the doors to the bottom deck, I walked down to see Ellie in the exact position I'd left her in hours prior. She was still awake, blankly staring at the ceiling just as she was before.

"Ellie?" I asked, slowly approaching the bed before perching myself on the end by her feet, "Can I take a look at you quickly? You were pretty beaten up..."

No response.

I nodded slowly, rubbing my thighs before pulling myself back to my feet to grab my first aid kit. Once I'd retrieved it from my bag, I climbed on to the bed and knelt beside her. Pulling her hands from beneath the blanket, I contained my gasp when I noticed what had happened. My bottom lip began to tremble as I reached for my stitching supplies.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" I asked sheepishly as I began to stitch up her fingers. Or lack thereof, "Did you find her?"

"Yeah," She mumbled, not even turning her face to look at me.

"Okay, did you..."

"No."

I nodded slowly, dressing her stitches before pulling the blanket off of her body. I lifted her shirt over her head slowly, tossing it aside before examining her torso. Her skin was tainted with stab wounds and bruises of purple and yellow hues. Containing my distraught once more, I began to undress the bandages I'd put on before so that I could clean her up.

"What happened?" I asked breathlessly, pushing her hair out of her face before cupping her cheek, "Please talk to me."

"I don't want to talk about it, Charlotte. Please?"

"Okay... okay. Well, the boats out of fuel. So we're going to have to start walking," I nodded slowly as I cleaned her torso and chest, "I was thinking... if you're not in any rush to get home, we could take the long way. Maybe look around a little, see the world."

"Okay," She responded dryly.

"Okay... does that mean you don't want to?"

"No. It means okay,"

"Ellie, I've followed you across the country. Twice. I've risked my life for you. Twice. I've been your safe place to land. Twice. I've been the only person who helped you. Twice," I began, "Please. You need to talk to me."

"What do you want me to say, Charlotte?" She asked as she turned her face to look at me for the first time, "I found Abby, then I let her go. Is it as exciting as you hoped it'd be?"

"Exciting? Is that what you think this is for me?" I scoffed, "Seeing you like this, is it just so exciting for me, Ellie? When are you going to accept that I love you? That everything I do... is because I love you?"

Ellie shook her head slowly before turning away from me. I shook my head, packing away my things before heading towards the steps.

"I'm going to take a look around and figure out where we are. I'll be back in a few hours," I said before gathering up my things.

Once again, she didn't respond nor acknowledge what I'd said. No part of me was surprised. I didn't lose Ellie in Seattle, I didn't lose her in Santa Barbara. Truth was, I lost her when we lost Joel. It just took me this long to realise it.