Don't Tell Lucy

4

Phils POV (It's gonna be him for a while.)

I ran home, tears still flowing freely down my face. I relived that argument again and again until the words were burnt in my brain. Im still surprised at my confidence when I spoke. I unlocked the door to my flat and fling myself onto the couch. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I stood up to grab my phone and saw the temporary bed him and I made. I grabbed all the blankets and pillows and threw them into the empty spare room and locked the door. I caught a whiff of his scent-like chocolate, vanilla, and cologne- and I dashed to my bathroom and took a shower to get the scent off of me. I couldn't tell the difference between the water and my tears. I stepped out of the shower and suddenly felt queasy. I violently threw up my breakfast, not stopping until my stomach was empty. Well, at least it doesn't smell like him anymore. I got dressed into the comfiest pair of pajamas I had and made my way back to the couch. I grabbed my phone. 5 texts from "your best friend Dan! :)" he must have put his number in my phone while I was sleeping.
"Phil, come back, we need to talk."
"Phil."
"Please come back here."
"Please Phil, I feel so bad." Good, I thought to myself
The last one was a link to a song. I copied it to see what the hell he was sending me. I rolled my eyes, deleting his contact, but saving the messages. I turned on the song. I was instantly bombarded with feelings as Gasoline by Troye Sivan came on. I just listened, just now noticing how much the lyrics reflected my life

"I smell heartbreak on my hands, I feel sick to my stomach as I begin to stand.
I see your outline in my bed, I'm the same spot I watched him rest his head.
I've done you wrong, I regret it. Write this song, try to forget it. I feel this emptiness in my chest, I feel surreal but I'm feeling stressed.
I need to do something. I fucked up for nothing. Now I gotta just tell someone,
Tell someone what I've done.
Please bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline.
Bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Oh, no, like gasoline."

Oh, are there waterfalls on my face? Nope, just my tears. He's just trying to make himself feel better, he probably went the same thing to her. I stood up and decided I had to do something productive today if I'm gonna stay home. I placed my order for a bed and a dresser. I then slept the rest of the day, the tears never leaving my eyes.

A/N
How do the few of you guys actually reading this like it so far? Usually I begin a story, then feel like it's crap and delete it, but I got a good feeling about this one :)
By the way, my eyes actually started to water while I was writing these last two chapters. Poor Philly! 😭 I love you, you eleven readers! ~Yah~