Even After You

Chapter 2

It had been a lengthy journey for me, full of rises and falls of fortune. I have always been a chirpy one, rumored to be one of the very famous playboys among all, a blurry image surrounded the minds whenever I was talked about.

And I figured out,

the world
don't need explanations.
All it needs
is pain,
emotions,
feelings, and
all the lifelessness
laid under a
SMILE..!

And I gracefully pulled myself together, stretched the ends of my cheeks and suffused myself with power and life. It was easier to act strong rather than being one. I did it perfectly and none of them noticed. Was I a good actor or was it just a bunch of poor audience Infront of me. 

I never feared defeats. They recently had been an unaccepted part of me. All I had was desire to crawl back to all the shadowed parts of mine and lit them up. My fathomless thoughts accompanied me. They never let me stroll alone. All my nightmares stranded me and I could still not see the bottom of the gloom I was drowning into. 

I was afraid
What if I
Stretch a hand out and ask for help
And someone pulled me up,
and leave it again
I would drown once more

So why should I?
When I am already halfway down
And I can't go through it once again
I wish to see the bottom now
And if you could not be right here
I wish someone would be there at the end.

I could imagine an undefined bottom nearly approaching in the form of Hope. A hope that I would completely drown someday. I trapped myself under it, waiting for someone to tell me everything I wasn't ready for, resist me of every belief I wish I never had. I wished to see what the next moment turns into. I wished if there were any blessings coming in my future, I had them all right now!

I was walking down my school corridor when suddenly she came out of nowhere and polished my cheeks with her sheeny hands, full of sparkling silver glitters. Aggravated by the touch and tendency to bolt away from it, I instantly held her wrists and turned back. And for the first time, I looked at her so closely. A single glance of her conciliated each raging storm inside me. A serene shelter amidst roaring winds around wrenched all the parts of me which I stashed behind the bars of tranquility. And suddenly, I could perceive all the blessings I prayed for came crashing towards me at an instant and I realized that there was no bottom to the sorrow. All it takes was a choice to swim through it to the edge and you'll always find a shore somewhere. I was living the happiest moment; the prettiest one I didn't even know existed. No language can speak it up, no book can describe it, no visual can assess it and no human can appraise its beauty.

Her eyes, deep and appealing, searched for a part of hers she was missing since a long time. A despair of not being understood barred all the emotions which were ripping her out. It was exactly the same person I knew I was that I could see in her. A naughty kid who wanted to soar high freely, full of powerful thoughts, sturdy enough to be her own self, she carried singularity of one of her kind. 

Expressing her never exhausted me. This was the first time I saw Kshiti. Though, being in the same school made us well aware of each other's existence, but we never used to talk much. We were working for an art project together those days and had established a good friendly relationship during that time. She was just like any other friend of mine who would laugh on my insensible jokes. We enjoyed being around each other and resume rest of our day playfully doing our jobs.