Noise Of Silence

- Chapter 4-

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         I was sure that I did not tell him my name.  How on earth did he know my full name? I thought about the answer to this question day in and day out and had never come to a reasonable answer.

     I remained speechless, while his friends turned back to me offering their autographs. They were filling my notebook with their scribbles. That was tearing me from the inside. I was thinking to myself ” Those are my precious paintings!” I was about to throw that at their faces, but I decided not to do so concerning their fame.  But the voice in my head was
suffocating while snarling at them.

     A strong feeling of shyness invaded me.  It was growing bigger in me with every single second passing while I was still there with five men around me. I started to pull myself and gather my things to leave giving flimsy excuses.

    As I had my first two steps away, I heard the one who likes to draw among them saying:

    “Shall we keep in touch?”

      I turned to face him with expressions of hesitation on my face. The voice in my head said immediately, ” Say no, now. You must say no otherwise you'll lose numerous of your precious things, the first of which is your peace of mind. It seems that he is used to playing dirty games  with foolish girls like you.”

    “Do you have an account on CYWorld?” The famous star continued asking.

    I shook my head. He asked again, “Skype?”

  I nodded in no once again.

  “What about Instagram?”

    Once more, I shook my head which made him smile after having no other social media sites to name. Then, he said, “You are not wasting your time.”

   I replied averting his looks,” I have no one to talk to.”

     The young man smiled.

     I noticed that the prince of Goguryeo was still standing behind them with his hands in his pockets, looking at me smiling as well, whereas his friend said, “I loved your art. Your works are special.”

       I stared at him and hesitated.  I do not know anyone here but Min Soo and I did not use to build friendships with men and never talked to any men except my cousins. However, I was surprised, he was so humble. I have always believed that celebrities are arrogant with annoying levels of pride. This young man truly stunned me with his extravagant spontaneity and humility.

     He approached me and said, “I am not going to disturb you more.”

     He bent to apologize which made an overwhelming sense of surprise invade me. I could not believe his outstanding morals. Then, he continued’ This is my e-mail. let’s exchange our drawings.”

     Even though I did not want to create an e-mail account nor exchange my paintings or display them to him and I had a feeling that I would regret it if I did so, I took that paper on which he wrote his e-mail, promising that I would send everything new I would draw.

    Then, I left.

   I was truly frustrated because they did not give me a chance to finish drawing the face of that wonderful manga character.

     On my way out, the lady working in the shop, I meant the one who allowed me to draw, greeted me inviting me to visit them again. I thanked her smiling at her.

     I did not create an e-mail account that night. I had thrown that paper in my drawer without paying it any sort of attention. Any other girl but me would have gone crazy if a member of the X-Five had asked her that. Perhaps if I told Min Soo that I met all the members of the X-Five in a shop that sells drawing instruments and we had a long talk and that one of its members offered me his friendship mainly for my drawings, she would not believe me. On the contrary, she would think that I am crazy or hallucinating. Meanwhile, I was thinking that I would gain nothing personal out of knowing them. For me, it was of no use having those young men’s signatures on one of my notebooks. I believed that they have ruined it. I thought that their fame was a boon only for them. No one else but them.  I did not care about anything but my limited world, besides I am not used to K-pop music.

      The next day, a vague feeling drove me back to that shop. I did not stop to buy new socks nor pay attention to the smells of people passing me by. I rushed to that manga book. I sat down shaking; I picked up my pens and notebook. I did not know what was going on with me, I started to turn the pages quickly, then I stopped turning the pages. I could not see any trace of the face I started drawing the day before. Even the signatures were gone. I looked for the bill for the pens and rubbers I bought the previous day in my bag. I was quite sure that it was there, but there was not a vestige of it too. I quickened my steps to the lady who permitted me to draw.  It seemed that she did not remember me.

     Did I come here before? Nothing proved that I did.

  I felt the butterflies dancing in my stomach and I had terrible pain in my left leg.  A stream of tears fell through my eyes, however, I could hardly pull myself home.

     I had a shower, and I noticed some purple bruising on both my left arm and leg. That did not scare me as the paper I found in the drawer of my desk did. It was a paper on which an e-mail and four signatures were jotted down.