DRAPETOMIA

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Drapetomania ( drapeto•ma•ni•a (n) ): An overwhelming  urge to run away

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Drapetomania ( drapeto•ma•ni•a (n) ): An overwhelming urge to run away

I once read "It's better to lock up your heart and throw away the key than to fall in love with someone who doesn't know what they mean to you". That quote has lingered in my mind ever since I found out I was being cheated on. For four months, Kelan Mitchell, the boy who had my heart since the eighth grade, was cheating on me. I had my speculations, but I didn't want to believe it; and in this case, I hated that my intuition was correct. He was my first boyfriend, my first everything, and I loved him; But I had to put what remained of our broken relationship to rest. My friend Jasmine, like most of my friends, said that I deserved better and that he wasn't shit. I knew that, I did. But when you love someone with all your heart, you start to make that the main excuse for all the shitty things they do.

It was three weeks before graduation, and all it took was one phone call to make me give up on any idea of love for myself. I was over it. I had enough, and I wanted out. That was exactly the wake-up call I needed to make me realize I couldn't stay in small Beaufort any longer.

GRADUATION DAY

I try to keep my focus ahead as I feel Kelan's eyes on me, the latest of the many desperate attempts of trying to get my attention ever since I found out. Fortunately, for me, today is the last time I have to tolerate his ass.

"Natalie Aldena Stewart."

I walk across the stage, and as I hear those words and look at the crowd, I can't help but chuckle. I made it this far. 18 years old and I've finally conquered high school.

.

.

As the ceremony drags on, Kelan is still attempting to get my attention. If only he tried this hard while we were together, maybe it wouldn't have ended up like this.

"I am so, so sorry, Natty."

"I don't know why I did what I did."

"It was a mistake."

"Please, please just forgive me and take me back."

My eyes pierce into him as I speak, venom laced in every word.

"Don't you EVER call me that, again. You lost that right, and you're NEVER gonna get it back."

{"I'll Always Remember You" by Hannah Montanna plays as our graduation song}

As I watch my classmates throw their graduation caps in the air as they cheer, I hold onto mine. Hell, I paid for it, and just imagine the amount of us who won't be able to find which one is theirs. After the ceremony, I hug my friends and my teachers, bittersweetly. I can't help but feel the "graduation sadness" washing over me. I've known these people for years, grew up with them even, and we're going our separate ways now. I see my family with tears in their eyes and their arms wide open. Then, I burst into my ugly-ass, crying face.

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