EVERYTHING I DESERVE

SAUDADE

Sauade ( sau•da•e (n) ): The nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant or that has been loved and then lost; "the love that remains".

~NATALIE'S POV:

I start to surface, my head feeling like someone had been playing the drums on it. I realize I'm in the hospital. My eyes are closed, but the sounds of beeping, medical carts rolling, and pens clicking surround me. I try to open my eyes, but I can't. My head is killing me. I can't believe this is happening.

I'm losing consciousness again. I feel as though life is draining out of me, but oddly, I can't help but feel at peace. My eyes feel heavier than they already are. I'm drifting. Slowly drifting.

~LORENZO'S POV:

"Excuse me? Um, yes, excuse me, I was wondering how the girl was doing", my brother, Mateo, asks the receptionist at the front desk.

There's a pause and I see him on the verge of laughter. He discreetly points at the tag on her shirt. It reads Gertrude.

"Are you family?" she looks up, annoyed.

"Uh...well um no, but hey things could change" he cheeses. She rolls her eyes in response.

"If you are not immediate family, I cannot disclose any information about the patient," she says bluntly.

Leaning against the wall, I massage my temples in frustration. I honestly can't tell which one I want to harm first. Dumb thing 1 or dumb thing 2.

"Listen, we just want to make sure she isn't dead and pay her medical bills," I state.

She makes an obvious sigh of annoyance.

"Like I said-"

That's it.

I step forward so I'm directly in front of the desk, staring straight at her.

"Don't make me repeat myself" I say, lowly,

Mateo turns a rosy shade of red. And tries to ignore the tension in the room. The nurse lowers her head, fiddles with her bracelet, and rubs her throat.

"Yes, she is alive and breathing"

I keep my eyes trained on the nurse, still annoyed she only answered one of the two questions. For me, seeing people nervous and small around me is always amusing but in this case, it was simply pissing him off.

My eyes is still piercing his daggering eyes into the nurse, annoyed that she only answered one of his questions. Seeing people nervous and small around him always amused him but in this case, it was simply pissing me off.

I tap my fingers impatiently on the front desk.

"And the medical bills?"

She looks at the computer as she clacks away at the keyboard.

"She isn't in the system. I'm not aware if she has any insurance."

I roll my eyes.

"Mail me the bill," I say.

The whole way out of the hospital Mateo kept thanking God for not letting murder come in his path. When he sees the angry expression on my face, he goes quiet. Being his big brother means I have to bail him out when he gets in trouble, but I've been doing this for years, and I'm tired of it.

~NATALIE'S POV

I wake up with the same headache I went to sleep with.

"Good morning, how are we feeling today?"