Sharing Life

27. That her

Tarun bolted towards the doorway when he saw Ram entering in the house.

He greeted him and took the bag from his hand. Ram dropped his keys on the dining table and pulled out a chair. Taking cue, Tarun began to serve.

He waited for few minutes expecting him to eat the cupcake he was holding, instead Ram kept on staring at the empty chair beside him, absently.

"Sir," Tarun called him softly. He glanced up at him. He enquired reluctantly, "Everything okay?"

Ram hummed yes and gazed down again.

A minute later, he slid his plate. "I will have them later."

He poured himself some whiskey and arrived at his favorite window.

The window being on the ground floor hardly had any view. Not that he would come there to see anything. But whenever the world around him seemed chaotic, he would come there to get away from everything and everyone. Sometimes he would stare at the bark & stems of the trees along the fence, observing different patterns and drawing objects out of it. Other times he would focus on the various sounds – honking & traffic, people & crowd – hoping these surrounding noises would shut the noise in him.

'Why to take away something what's rightfully yours? Besides you are not just your money, success or fame.'

He heard the voice again.

'People want to be around you...'

A while ago, when Tarun served him cupcakes, he heard a voice – her voice – in his head.

'Cupcake, at this hour?'

Immediately his eyes went to the adjacent chair, picturing if she were sitting there. Priya in her crimson suit she wore on Diwali, the white dupatta pinned on a shoulder and falling freely on the other, a hand rested on table placed beneath her chin, her untied hair faintly swaying in the air as she said, "Cupcakes, at this hour?" and gently shook her head.

Soon he realized she was just his thoughts. Yet he found himself wishing that she were really here instead some imagination or voice in his head as the flashes of Diwali night seared across his mind.

'You asked me to join you for the dinner and I'm joining you.' She sat on the chair near him.

....

'And what about your health, Mr. Kapoor?'

....

She stopped Tarun from taking away the kheer. 'Isse rehene do. It's Diwali today.'

A faint smile leapt through his face followed by a wave of anxiety. The same unsettling questions resurfaced demanding to be answered.

It was just some time earlier, when he felt the calmness he had never felt before. At least in presence of Vedika and Shashi.

But after he left their house, he has been feeling all sort of mixed emotions he hadn't felt in long time. Particularly recalling his friend's words.

'Perhaps you have turned over the page, even began a new chapter and just not realized it.'

It was too overwhelming and Ram was not able to make any sense out of it. For a minute he feels like finally everything is falling in place and he was doing fine. The very next moment he experiences a strange feeling of loss, like he's missing on something.

Anxious, he reached his pocket for pills but remembered that he had stopped carrying them with him. He kept the glass and headed to his room.

He went at the side table to take the anxiety pills to calm his rush. As he leaned, he spotted the dried rose which he had kept there, confused.