The Fixer

21.

~Elijah~

Jariel has climbed onto my lap to nap while Amira and I just talk on the private enclosed patio after taking our time to eat. It's a cute bohemian themed spot that has 10 indoor/outdoor dining areas that are enclosed so that the party, up to 6 people per patio, has a bit of privacy.

I can feel my shirt getting a little wet from her drool though. But what can I do about it? She's chilling.

I just look down at her, she is definitely a lot to handle, what with her being so damn smart. She thinks, feels, and acts a lot older than she is. Not in a bad way, just in a way that requires you to really interact with and understand her. You can't just leave her to her "devices" like you can a typical kid.

"Yeah, and I've missed you so much. I know things haven't been "normal" between us with us barely finding time to talk. I know you've been adjusting to life here, clearly you've got a bit going on, and I've fully moved in with my man since his cousin finally moved out, you knew how much I could not stand him."

I just nod.

"I also just didn't know how to tell you what's been going on. Darnell and that bitch are just roaming around the apartment as if that was normal for them, it disgusts me. And all they ever do is fuck and fight, and you know I heard he lost his job. Apparently he used the company truck to transport some stuff for her brothers little gang or something serious like that. They found residue or something to that effect." Amira can go on and on if not halted in her tracks.

"Sounds like the dumbass I knew. He loved to talk big shit and act as if he had it all together but the second he gets somewhere good, he fucks it up. I don't care about him anymore."

"Clearly." She takes a sip of her 4th cocktail. "You ain't drinking. You think I ain't notice? You playing babysitter to your client's kid now too, oh how you failed to mention that little miss slick shit. You been playing the game of Life with this nigga?" She accuses me of something I'm absolutely guilty of.

I look down at Jariel once again and sigh.

"I might be pregnant Amira..." Tears attempt to force their way from my eyes. "So please don't be judgmental or try to lecture me because I already know. I'm a screw up. A fucking statistic and a stereotype. I just need my friend right now, because I don't know what I'm going to do." I plead with her and she softens her exterior completely.

She gets up and comes over to my side of the table to sit next to me. She grabs a napkin to wipe my face.

"Baby, judge you? I couldn't, I wouldn't. Why would you think that? Pregnancy is a huge deal of course, but I mean? It could be worse right? You know who the father is, he has money, not that that's important, but it is. You have a good job, but because of him, that could get a little messy, but it could be worse? I mean, does he know? How long have you two been fucking?" She whispers the last question remembering that there is a child in our presence which we both have paid no mind to up until this point.

I think back to the night I called her bawling my eyes out after Jabari gave me the best head I think I could've ever asked for. Or maybe the last time he did was the best? Or the time before that? Damn, he's just so good at it.

Like really good. It's the way he wraps his arms under my legs to rest his hands on my thighs so that I'm held in place for him to do whatever he wants to me. It's the way he leaves sticky wet kisses up and down this full frame of mine that he whispers he loves so much. And I almost want to believe he does. He loves to nibble all over me, rest against me, and hold me. The way my ex did when we first got together. He couldn't keep his hands off of me, and then I got comfortable. Complacent.