Padfoot has created a groupchat
participants: Padfoot, Prongs, Moony, Wormtail
groupname: IM HUNGRY BRING ME FOOD
prongs: Sirius wtf
padfoot: im hungry
moony: get food then
padfoot: no my beds too comfy
moony: thats my bed
padfoot: not anymore bitch
prongs: i feel like im interrupting something...
padfoot: yea interrupting my life
prongs: you fucking whore
padfoot: HA JOKES ON YOU I HAVE A DEGRADTION KINK
prongs: fucking hell
moony: fucking hell
padfoot: anygay wheres wormy
prongs: guess what!
moony: what
prongs: idk! :-)
Wormtail: Ohhhhh so you know i exist now? well thats just great
moony: wdym when did we forget
wormtail: when you put that fucking mouse trap outside the castle 5 HOURS AGO!
padfoot: OMG WHAT
prongs: DONT TELL ME YOURE STUCK IN A MOUSE TRAP
moony: SUCKS TO BE YOU ASSHOLE
wormtail: i thought transforming into a human would get me out but it made it... worse
prongs: where has it trapped you?
wormtail: it really hurts
padfoot: NO WAY YOUVE GOT A MOUSETRAP ON YOUR DICK
wormtail: please come and help me people are looking
prongs: were cohming jus need to get off the foor
moony: do we have to get him
padfoot: dont be a bitch moony
prongs: yea don be a bitch mony
moony: mony?
prongs: i cant tuypre km laughing too hard
moony: wait why tf are we typing anyway we're in the same room
padfoot: you really are a bitch moony
Prongs has changed the group chat name to: #moonyisaslag
moony: why? Just why?
Padfoot: BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHABANANABAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
prongs: banana?
Wormtail: guys... I'm still stuck in a mousetrap
Padfoot: oh yea fuck
prongs: we'll be there in 5
moony: let's make it 10 to piss him off
Padfoot: why are you being such a bitchboy today
prongs: bitchboy (plural bitchboys)
(gay slang) A bottom, usually a younger, submissive male.
moony: I- let's go help wormy
Padfoot: HA EXPOSED
prongs: HOLD UP HOW DID YOU KNOW MOONY WAS A BITCHBOY
Padfoot: ...
moony: ...
Wormtail: oh shit McGonagalls coming
Prongs: oh fuck
(A/N: I'm typing on my phone now so the format is different)
Wormtail: she looks angry
Moony: this is too good to miss
Padfoot: let's go see this
Wormtail: so NOW you come down
Prongs: don't be a bitch Wormtail
Padfoot: so many bitches today
Wormtail: fuck you guys she just yanked it off and gave me detention
Padfoot: oh so she goes by kitty today
Moony: BAHAHAHA WHAT
prongs: it's a long story one that involves my mother
Moony: I love your mother 👀👀
Padfoot: YOU WHAT
Wormtail: guys can u stop texting I am literally on the floor infront of all 3 of u.
Prongs: moony I am filing a restraining order against you
Padfoot: there are more important things than ur mouse trap dick wormy
Prongs: MOUSE TRAP DICK
Prongs has changed the group chat name to: the adventures of wormy and his mouse trap dick
Wormtail: fuck
Moony: we should go now
Wormtail: I CANT MOVE
Padfoot: moony carry him
Moony: WHAT WHY ME
prongs: because ur a slag
Padfoot: he's not wrong
Moony: ...
Wormtail: it's fine I'll crawl
[they walk up to their dorm with Wormtail crawling behind]
Prongs: fucking hell have you seen Lily today
Padfoot: it's hard to miss her
Prongs: what's that supposed to mean
Padfoot: her hair looks like fire
Moony: don't be gingerist
Padfoot: I'm not being gingerist I am just saying her hair is very bright
Moony has changed the chat to Sirius Orion black is gingerist
Wormtail: guys I'm still in pain
Prongs: no one asked
HA BURN
Padfoot: what
Prongs: SIRIUS YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL
HA BURN
Moony: wtf
Prongs: MOONY YOU DRESS LIKE A GRANDAD
HA BURN
Padfoot: you all are whores
Especially moony
Moony: WHAT
Padfoot: you heard baby cakes
Prongs: ...
Wormtail: ...
Moony: baby cakes?
Padfoot: yes sugarplum?
Moony: fucking hell
Prongs: Padfoot stop harassing moony he doesn't want anal
Padfoot: I DONT WANT ANAL
IM NOT GAY
moony: that's not what u said last night
Wormtail: HEISHSYSBSYSUBSGSUSB WHAT
prongs: is this a confession? 💀💀
Padfoot has left the chat
Prongs: I'll take that as a yes then
Moony has added padfoot back into the chat
Wormtail: so ur gay?
Padfoot: you really couldn't tell
Prongs: you got us there
Padfoot: moony come here I want to make out
Prongs: please don't
Wormy might throw up
Wormtail: what?!
Moony: I can't
Padfoot: why not
Moony: grants over there
Prongs: fuck him
Moony: I have
Wormtail: 🤢🤢🤢
Padfoot: DONT BE HOMOPHOBIC WORMY
Also Remus... why
Moony: because u wouldn't make a move on me so I slept with him to piss u off but u never found out so..
Prongs: this is quality entertainment
Padfoot: fuck off Tamprongs
Wait are u still sleeping with him?
Moony: no
Padfoot: SO COME HERE, SIT ON MY LAP AND PUT THOSE SEXY ASS LIPS ON MINE
prongs: LMAO ASS LIPS
Padfoot: James istg
Moony: fucking fine
Padfoot: ahhh I love angst
Wormtail: what is angsty about this
Padfoot: angry sex is the best sex
Prongs: literally
Wormtail: u would know
Prongs: I would
Padfoot: I would
Moony: u wouldn't
Padfoot: MOONY U BADASS
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMG
moony: wait what
Prongs: ...
Wormtail: holy fish sticks
Prongs: WORMY WATCH UR PROFANITY
Moony: you love me?
Padfoot: fuck
Yes I love you ok. It's cheesy I know and it isn't like me to love someone. You all think of me as the guy who goes around kissing girls and sleeping with them. But you moony are special. Fuck I love you.
Prongs: DORK
moony: I love you too
SHUT THE FUCK UP JAMES U WHORE
Wormtail: I'm crying that was so cute
Moony: what me telling James that he's a whore
Because that's not cute it's just the truth
Padfoot: u wanna go fuck on James' bed?
Wormtail: no I'm good thanks
Padfoot: I meant moony u dumbass
Moony: sure let's go
Padfoot: ugh carry me
Moony: fine princess
Padfoot: yay
Prongs: awhhh
WAIT NOT ON MY BED U SLAGS
——-
End of 1
Bye bye fuckers :-)
