Lost without you

Chapter two <3

It happened again.

You jolt awake in a cold sweat.
This wasn't the first time, ever since the incident the memory haunted your dreams every night.
As you look up you notice Wanda is gone and a note is left on your bedside table:

Dear y/n,
I'm sorry I had to leave but something came up and I couldn't miss it. Bucky is with me so you'll have the house to yourself. There's a list of chores for you on the fridge and I bought plenty of food incase you get hungry. We'll be back by  tomorrow evening.
Stay safe and don't leave the house.
~ Wanda

You sigh and glance over at the alarm clock.
4:12am.
You get up out of your messy bed and head over to the window.
As you're looking out over the starry night sky you see it.

Yours and Natasha's spot.
It was where you went with her to get things off your chest, one of the only places you felt safe and now, one of the places you would never return to.
It was a small bench next to an oak tree overlooking a vast lake. Everyday you would both sit in a comfortable silence enjoying eachothers company,
but those days are over and you would never experience that safe feeling again.

You couldn't bare the thought that you would never see her again, never listen to her soft voice, never lay in her arms for hours, eventually the thoughts get too much and you make your way over to the bathroom.
After splashing ice cold water over your tear stained cheeks you decide to write her a letter.

You did this every time you had a restless night, which was Pretty much everyday, you would sit down at your desk and write Natasha a letter, although it would be impossible to send it you still liked to imagine that she had received it and was sitting, reading it. Wherever she is now. Slowly picking up a pen you begin to write.

To mum,
I miss you. I know I write that a lot but I really do. I wish things hadn't ended up like this. I need to see you again, as much as I love Wanda she could never replace you no matter how hard she tries. I hate how she does that, she tries to act  like a mother to me but she's not and she never will be. I hope we'll see eachother again soon mum. I don't know how I'll ever get through this without you. I should've listened to what you told me, if I did maybe we wouldn't be in this mess right now. I love you so much.
~y/n

Once you finished, sealed up the envelope and placed it with the others you climb back into bed, closing your eyes hoping to get some more sleep.
It was no use.
You lay awake for hours letting the traumatic memories race through your mind.