Jurdan Oneshots

14

I hear a knock at the door which momentarily pauses my tears.

"Jude..? Jude, it's me. Love, pease open the door."

The pain in Cardans voice causes another sob to stumble out from me. I cover my mouth with my hand and squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to think of my hollow stomach but desperately failing.

"Jude, you shouldn't just lock yourself in a room and hide from the world. Please, let me in." Cardans voice cracks and I know this is bigger than just a locked room.

"I know you, Jude, better than most people and I know you think you can handle this on your own. But you have to understand, you are not the only one who is hurting. The whole kingdom understands your pain, your friends, your family, me." His voice cracks again and I realize I haven't been the only one crying.

"You are more than strong enough to be able to go through this alone. But that doesn't mean you should." A pause. "Is this not what we should be doing? Helping each other through the hard times? Being there for the other when they need it? Is that not how a marriage is to be like? Is that not what it means to be in love?" I hear him inhale sharply before continuing. "This type of grieving shouldn't be spent without someone to hold."

Then, quietly he adds. "We've already lost too much, Jude. Don't leave me, too."

My stomach clenches at his words.

I hadn't even thought of how Cardan must be feeling. I cringe, self-loathing filling me up. I've been such a bad wife, a poor excuse for a queen, and a friend to none.

I force myself to rise from my bed, a hand on my stomach and open the door.

There, stands Cardan, looking more of a mess than I've ever seen him. He has dark circles under his eyes, his hair is a mess pointing this way and that. My eyes rest on his body and I realize his clothes are barely put on properly.

His eyes are on my hand which still rests on my stomach when his eyes begin to tear up. "Jude-" I wrap my hands around his neck, burying my face in his neck, not giving him the chance to continue. I cry until my throat is sore and my soul feels empty. I let all my pain out onto his chest and his hands wrap around my waist in return.

My voice gets muffled by his shirt when I finally speak, "This isn't fair, Cardan. Out of all the things that have happened in our lives, this is not goddamn fair!" He rubs soft circles on my back as I continue.

"I was going to raise her to be better than them. Better than both the Fae and the humans. I wanted her to-" I hiccup, unable to continue.

"I know, darling, I know." Cardan hooks an arm under my legs and another under my head, carrying me to our bed. After putting me down, he crawls in next to me.

He wraps his arms around me and I hear him sniffle before speaking, "She would have been the luckiest daughter to have you as her mother. You know that, right, Jude? You know it's not your fault?"

I nod, too numb to tell him I do not agree.

if you couldn't tell, they're going through a miscarriage 🫠